Top 13 'Side-by-Side' Bonding Projects to introduce for connecting with teens who hate forced family fun. - Goh Ling Yong
You announce it with the hopeful enthusiasm of a game show host: "It's Family Fun Night!" You've got the board games, the popcorn, and a carefully curated playlist of upbeat, family-friendly tunes. The response? A synchronized eye-roll from the teenagers on the couch, a grunt that could mean anything from "no thanks" to "I'd rather do trigonometry," and the quiet glow of phone screens that says, "We are not here."
If this scene feels painfully familiar, you're not alone. The classic, face-to-face, "let's all talk about our feelings" model of family bonding that worked with your seven-year-old often backfires spectacularly with a seventeen-year-old. Teenagers are hardwired for independence. They're navigating complex social worlds and developing their own identities, which can make pre-packaged, mandatory "fun" feel cringe-worthy and intrusive. They don't hate you; they hate the pressure of forced connection.
The solution isn't to give up. It's to change the geometry of your approach. Instead of face-to-face, think shoulder-to-shoulder. This is the magic of "side-by-side" bonding. It's about engaging in a task or project together, where the main focus is on the activity, not on each other. The conversation becomes organic, the silence is comfortable, and the connection happens naturally, in the shared moments of problem-solving, collaboration, and even frustration. It’s a low-pressure strategy that respects their space while creating it.
Ready to trade the eye-rolls for engagement? Here are 13 side-by-side bonding projects perfect for connecting with teens who hate forced family fun.
1. The Co-Op Gaming Gauntlet
Forget trying to beat them at their favorite competitive shooter game. Instead, enter their world as an ally. Co-operative video games—where you work together to achieve a common goal—are a perfect side-by-side activity. The focus is on teamwork, communication ("Watch out, there's a creeper behind you!"), and shared victory.
You're not just playing a game; you're building a virtual world, solving complex puzzles, or surviving a zombie apocalypse together. This allows you to see their strategic mind at work and share in their passions. It shows you respect their hobby and are willing to learn their language.
- Pro-Tip: Let them be the expert. Ask them to teach you the controls and the strategy. Start with accessible, creative games like Minecraft, Stardew Valley, or the chaotic fun of Overcooked. Your willingness to be a novice and laugh at your own fumbling creates a safe, fun environment.
2. The IKEA Assembly Challenge
There are few bonding experiences more potent than the shared struggle and ultimate triumph of assembling flat-pack furniture. The cryptic, wordless instructions and bag of a million tiny screws create an instant "us vs. the world" mentality.
This isn't just about building a bookshelf; it's a low-stakes project in communication, problem-solving, and patience. One person can read the instructions while the other handles the Allen key. You'll celebrate small victories ("The cam-lock is in!") and navigate minor setbacks together. When you're done, you have a tangible, functional reminder of your successful teamwork.
- Pro-Tip: Put on their favorite music or a podcast you both enjoy. Order a pizza beforehand to have as a reward. The goal is to make the entire process, not just the result, a positive experience.
3. The Culinary Project
Move beyond baking chocolate chip cookies and level up your kitchen game. Let your teen choose a complex, interesting recipe they've seen on YouTube or TikTok—think homemade ramen from scratch, complex bao buns, or a multi-layered cake. This gives them ownership and creative control.
Working side-by-side chopping vegetables, kneading dough, or carefully plating your creation allows for easy, flowing conversation. The shared sensory experience of smells and tastes creates powerful memories. And if it's a disaster? You'll have an even better story to tell as you order that pizza you should have had for the IKEA challenge.
- Pro-Tip: Designate roles. Maybe one person is the "Saucier" and the other is the "Lead Chopper." This avoids micromanaging and gives them a sense of responsibility and expertise.
4. The Car Care Clinic
If your teen is driving or has any interest in cars, the driveway can become a prime bonding location. Teaching them basic car maintenance—how to check the oil, top up windshield washer fluid, check tire pressure, or even change a tire—is an invaluable life skill.
The ultimate side-by-side car project is a full detail. Get out the buckets, sponges, wax, and interior cleaner. Spend a Saturday afternoon transforming the family car from a crumb-filled transport pod into a gleaming machine. There's immense satisfaction in the "before and after," and the physical work provides a great outlet for energy.
- Pro-Tip: Create a "Car Care Kit" together. Go to the auto parts store and let them pick out the high-quality wax, air fresheners, and cleaning tools. This investment shows you're serious about the project and their role in it.
5. The Curated Movie/Show Marathon
Watching a single movie is passive. A marathon is an event. Let your teen take the lead in curating the experience. This could be watching every film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe in chronological order, binge-watching a critically acclaimed series they love, or exploring all the films of a specific director like Hayao Miyazaki or Christopher Nolan.
The "side-by-side" element comes from the shared experience and the ritual. Plan the snacks, build a pillow fort in the living room, and discuss the plot twists and character arcs between episodes or films. It’s a multi-hour commitment that says, "I'm setting aside this time to share this world with you."
- Pro-Tip: Create a simple rating system. Have a whiteboard or a notebook where you both give each film a score out of 10 and write one sentence about why. It sparks debate and makes the viewing more active.
6. The Garden or Yard Transformation
Working with your hands in the dirt is a grounding experience. Plan a tangible project with a clear beginning and end. This could be building a raised garden bed for vegetables, clearing out an overgrown corner of the yard and planting wildflowers, or creating a new stone pathway.
The physical labor is a great stress-reliever, and the quiet rhythm of digging, planting, and watering allows for comfortable silence and occasional conversation. You are partners in a battle against weeds and a shared mission to create something beautiful and living. This is a project that literally lets you see the fruits of your labor grow over time.
- Pro-Tip: Give them ownership over a specific part of the project. Let them choose the types of vegetables to plant or the design of the flower bed. Visiting the local nursery together to pick out plants can be a great outing in itself.
7. Volunteering for Their Cause
Connecting with your teen can also mean connecting with the wider world together. The key is to find a volunteer opportunity aligned with their values, not yours. Do they love animals? Spend a Saturday walking dogs at the local shelter. Are they passionate about the environment? Join a park or beach cleanup day.
When you're working together to serve a greater purpose, the focus shifts away from your own relationship dynamics. You're simply two people on the same team, helping others. This can open the door to meaningful conversations about values, society, and their vision for the future. As I often share in my coaching sessions with parents, a shared purpose is one of the most powerful connectors.
- Pro-Tip: Research options online together. Let them read the mission statements of different organizations and choose the one that resonates most with them.
8. The Digital Creation Project
Show you value their native digital environment by creating something within it. The project options are endless: film and edit a funny short video for YouTube, start a two-person podcast about a shared interest, create a "visual album" by pairing their favorite songs with images and video clips, or learn how to code a simple website.
This positions you as the student or, at best, a collaborative partner. You'll be relying on their expertise and creative vision. It's a powerful role-reversal that can boost their confidence and show them you see them as a capable, creative individual.
- Pro-Tip: Define your roles. They can be the "Director" and you can be the "Production Assistant," in charge of getting props, holding the camera, or managing the audio. Embrace your supporting role.
9. Tackle a Home Organization Monster
Every home has one: the chaotic garage, the terrifying attic, the closet that time forgot. Frame the task not as a chore, but as a "mission" you're tackling together. The shared enemy is the clutter.
The process of sorting through old belongings can be a surprisingly profound trip down memory lane. You'll uncover old toys, photos, and projects that spark stories and forgotten inside jokes. The physical act of sorting, cleaning, and organizing provides a huge sense of accomplishment when you're done.
- Pro-Tip: Take "before" and "after" photos. The visual evidence of your hard work is incredibly motivating and satisfying to look back on. Celebrate your victory with a well-deserved meal out.
10. Learn a New Skill (as Equals)
The internet is the world's greatest teacher. Pick a skill that neither of you knows how to do and learn it together, side-by-side, from YouTube tutorials. This could be anything from learning a few chords on the guitar, mastering a photo-editing program like GIMP, or even learning how to skateboard.
The key here is that you are both complete beginners. This levels the playing field and removes any parent-child authority dynamic. You'll be vulnerable, you'll make mistakes, and you'll get to laugh at each other's (and your own) clumsy attempts. It's a powerful way to model resilience and a growth mindset.
- Pro-Tip: Document your progress. Take a short video on Day 1 of you both trying to play a G-chord and another on Day 30. Seeing the improvement is a huge motivator and a fun memory to share.
11. The Modern-Day Treasure Hunt: Geocaching
If your teen scoffs at the idea of a "nice family walk," rebrand it as a high-tech treasure hunt. Geocaching uses a GPS-enabled device (like your phone) to navigate to specific coordinates where you'll find a hidden container, or "geocache."
This activity combines technology, problem-solving, and being outdoors in a way that feels like an adventure, not a forced march. You'll work together to decipher clues, navigate using the map, and feel the thrill of discovery when you finally locate the hidden cache.
- Pro-Tip: Plan a route that includes several caches and ends at a fun destination, like a favorite ice cream shop or lookout point. Let your teen be the official navigator.
12. The Shared Fitness Challenge
Instead of nagging them to be more active, join them. Choose a fitness goal to work towards together. This could be training for a 5K fun run, learning a new sport like bouldering or pickleball, or completing a 30-day yoga or strength-training challenge you find online.
The focus is on mutual encouragement and shared progress, not competition. Exercise is a fantastic way to burn off stress (for both of you) and release endorphins. Sharing the aches and pains of a tough workout or the high of achieving a new personal best is a unique and powerful way to connect.
- Pro-Tip: Invest in some matching gear, even if it's something small like new running socks or water bottles. It reinforces the idea that you're a team.
13. The Thrift & Upcycle Project
Unleash your combined creativity with a thrifting adventure. The mission: find a tired, old piece of furniture (a side table, a small dresser, a chair) with good bones. Then, your side-by-side project is to bring it back to life.
Spend an afternoon sanding, painting, and adding new hardware. You'll have to make creative decisions together, compromise on colors, and learn how to fix unexpected problems. The end result is a unique, custom piece for their room that they can be proud of—a constant reminder of the cool thing you built together.
- Pro-Tip: Before you go to the thrift store, create a shared Pinterest board to gather inspiration. This helps you get on the same page creatively and builds excitement for the project.
The Real Goal is the 'Side-by-Side'
Remember, the success of these projects isn't measured by how perfect the finished bookshelf is or how delicious the ramen tastes. The real victory is in the time spent together—the comfortable silences, the shared laughter over a mistake, the quiet "hey, can you pass me that" conversations.
This shoulder-to-shoulder approach respects your teen's need for autonomy while quietly rebuilding bridges. It replaces the pressure of "forced fun" with the satisfaction of a shared accomplishment. As a parenting expert, this is a strategy Goh Ling Yong consistently champions because it meets teens where they are. It proves that you're not just interested in parenting them; you're interested in knowing them.
So pick a project, take a deep breath, and extend a low-pressure invitation. You might be surprised at the power of simply doing something, together, side-by-side.
Now it's your turn. What side-by-side projects have worked for your family? Share your successes (and hilarious failures!) in the comments below!
About the Author
Goh Ling Yong is a content creator and digital strategist sharing insights across various topics. Connect and follow for more content:
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