Top 14 'Patience-Building' Training Techniques to train an over-excited dog at home before guests arrive - Goh Ling Yong
The sound of the doorbell sends a jolt through the house. Before your guest can even twist the handle, your furry best friend has transformed into a whirlwind of barking, jumping, and unrestrained chaos. You find yourself in a frantic dance of apologies, trying to hold back your dog with one hand while greeting your friend with the other. Sound familiar?
If you're nodding along, know that you are not alone. This is one of the most common challenges dog owners face. It’s stressful, embarrassing, and can make you dread having people over. But here’s the secret: your dog isn’t being "bad." They're just overflowing with excitement and haven't been taught how to manage those huge feelings. Their behavior is a symptom, not the problem. The root issue is a lack of impulse control and patience.
The good news is that patience is a skill, and like any skill, it can be taught. By proactively working on specific training exercises, you can transform your chaotic greeter into a calm, polite host. This isn't about quick fixes; it's about building a foundation of self-control that will serve your dog for life. Let’s dive into 14 powerful, "patience-building" techniques you can start practicing at home today, well before your next guest is scheduled to arrive.
1. The "Place" Command: Your Dog's Safe Haven
The "Place" command is a game-changer. It teaches your dog to go to a designated spot—like their bed, a mat, or a specific rug—and stay there until released. This isn't a punishment; it's their special, safe spot where they know they can relax. It gives them a clear job to do when the environment becomes overwhelming, like when a new person enters their space.
To start, make the "place" irresistible. Toss high-value treats onto their bed and say "Place!" in an upbeat tone as they go to get them. Once they are comfortable going to the mat, start asking them to lie down and briefly stay. Gradually increase the duration. The goal is for the "place" to be a zone of ultimate calm. When guests arrive, sending your dog to their place gives them security and gives you control over the situation.
2. Mastering the "Stay"
A rock-solid "stay" is the cornerstone of impulse control. While "Place" designates a location, "Stay" is about maintaining a position anywhere, anytime. This command teaches your dog that their stillness, not their excitement, earns them rewards. It’s the mental muscle of patience being flexed and strengthened with every successful repetition.
Begin in a quiet room with no distractions. Ask for a "sit" or "down," then say "Stay" with a clear hand signal (like a flat palm facing your dog). Take one small step back. If they hold the position for a second, step back to them and give them a treat and praise. Slowly build up the three D's: Duration (how long they stay), Distance (how far you move away), and Distractions (adding noise or movement).
3. Doorbell Desensitization
For many dogs, the doorbell is a direct trigger for a frenzy. They've learned that Doorbell = Exciting New Person! Our job is to break that association. We need to make the doorbell boring. This process, called desensitization, involves exposing your dog to the trigger at a low intensity so it loses its power.
Ask a family member or friend to help. Have them ring the doorbell once. Don't go to the door. Instead, toss a handful of treats on the floor away from the door. The goal is to teach your dog that the sound of the bell means "good things happen over here, not at the door." Repeat this over and over, multiple times a day in short sessions. Eventually, the doorbell will become just another background noise.
4. The "Wait" at the Door
Teaching a "wait" at thresholds—like the front door, the crate door, or even the car door—is a powerful impulse control exercise. It teaches your dog that they need to look to you for permission before rushing through an opening. This simple act of pausing creates a moment of thought instead of a pure, instinctual reaction.
Start with an internal door, like a bedroom. With your dog on a leash, open the door slightly. If they try to barge through, close it gently. Say "Wait." The moment they hesitate, even for a split second, open the door and reward them with a "Yes!" and a treat. Practice until they automatically pause and look at you before you open the door fully and give a release cue like "Okay!"
5. "Settle" on Cue
While a "Down-Stay" is a rigid command, "Settle" is its relaxed cousin. The goal of "Settle" is to teach your dog to lie down and voluntarily relax their body. You're rewarding a state of mind, not just a physical position. This is invaluable for when guests are over and you just want your dog to chill out nearby.
To teach this, you'll use a technique called "capturing." When you see your dog naturally lie down and relax on their own, calmly walk over, drop a treat between their paws, and softly say "Settle." Don't make a big fuss, as that could cause them to get excited again. Over time, your dog will associate the word "Settle" with the feeling of being calm, and you can start to cue it when you need it.
6. "Leave It" for Everything
"Leave It" is the ultimate test of self-restraint. While we often use it for dropped food, its true power lies in generalizing the concept. A dog who can "leave" a piece of chicken on the floor is learning the same impulse control needed to "leave" a guest's pant leg alone.
Start easy. Place a low-value treat (like a piece of kibble) in your closed fist. Let your dog sniff and paw at it. The moment they back off, even slightly, say "Yes!" and give them a different, higher-value treat from your other hand. Never let them get the treat they were told to leave. As they master this, you can progress to dropping treats on the floor and covering them with your hand or foot, eventually working up to leaving treats uncovered.
7. The "Look at Me" or "Watch Me" Game
When a dog is over-excited, their focus is entirely on the trigger (the guest). The "Look at Me" command is your tool to break that fixation and redirect their attention back to you. It teaches them that checking in with you is more rewarding than fixating on the environment.
Hold a treat up to your forehead, between your eyes, and say "Look at me." The moment your dog's eyes meet yours, mark the behavior with a "Yes!" and give them the treat. Practice this in short, fun sessions throughout the day. Gradually fade the lure (the treat at your head) so they respond to the verbal cue alone. When a guest arrives, this command becomes your superpower to regain your dog's focus.
8. Leash Training Inside the House
A leash is not just for walks; it's a tool for communication and management. Practicing with a leash on inside the house, before guests arrive, can be a lifesaver. It prevents your dog from being able to practice unwanted behaviors like jumping or rushing the door. This isn't a long-term solution, but an excellent management strategy while you're still training.
Simply clip a light leash to your dog's collar a few minutes before you expect guests. Let them drag it around to get used to it (supervised, of course). When the doorbell rings, you can easily pick up the leash or step on it to prevent them from launching at your visitor. This gives you immediate control and allows you to guide them to their "place" or ask for a "sit."
9. Mental Stimulation Before Arrival
We all know the saying: "a tired dog is a good dog." But this doesn't just apply to physical exercise. Mental stimulation can be even more exhausting for a dog than a long run. Engaging their brain before guests arrive channels their energy into productive, calming activities.
Thirty minutes before your guests are due, give your dog a puzzle toy, a frozen Kong stuffed with their favorite food, or a snuffle mat. The acts of sniffing, licking, and problem-solving are incredibly calming and fulfilling for a dog. They will be in a much more relaxed state of mind when the doorbell finally rings. As a professional trainer, I often tell my clients that this is one of the easiest yet most overlooked steps to success.
10. Teach an Alternative Greeting
A dog can't jump on someone if they are sitting. This is the principle behind teaching an alternative, incompatible behavior. Instead of just saying "No!" to the jumping, you're giving your dog a clear "Yes!"—a specific action they can do to earn attention and praise. A polite "sit" is the most common and effective alternative greeting.
Practice this with family members first. As they walk through the door, cue your dog to "Sit." The moment their bottom hits the floor, the person entering should offer calm praise and a treat. If the dog breaks the sit and jumps, the person should immediately stand up straight, turn away, and ignore them. They only get attention when all four paws are on the floor.
11. Practice with "Fake" Guests
Your dog won't learn how to behave with guests if the only time they practice is during a real, high-stakes arrival. You need to conduct training drills. Enlist a willing friend or family member to be your "fake" guest and run through the entire arrival scenario from start to finish.
Have your helper text you when they are at the door. Ring the doorbell. Practice your entire routine: leashing the dog, asking for a "place" or "sit-stay," opening the door, and rewarding calm behavior. Do this multiple times in one session. Repetition under controlled circumstances is what builds reliable behavior. This is a technique top trainers like Goh Ling Yong swear by because it removes the pressure of a real social event.
12. The "Sniffari" Walk
Not all walks are created equal. A "sniffari" is a walk where the dog is in charge of the pace and the direction (within reason). The goal isn't to cover distance, but to let them engage their most powerful sense: their nose. Sniffing is a decompression activity for dogs; it lowers their heart rate and is mentally taxing in the best way possible.
Before guests are expected, take your dog on a 20-30 minute sniffari. Use a long line (a 15-20 foot leash) in a safe area like a park or quiet field. Let them meander and spend as much time as they want sniffing a single blade of grass. You will bring home a dog that is noticeably more relaxed and mentally satisfied.
13. Rewarding Calmness (Capturing Calm)
This is perhaps the most profound yet simple technique on the list. We are often so focused on correcting "bad" behavior that we forget to acknowledge the good. Capturing calm involves actively looking for moments when your dog is choosing to be relaxed on their own and rewarding it.
Keep a jar of treats handy. When you see your dog lying quietly on their mat or sleeping in a sunbeam, walk over without a word, drop a treat, and walk away. You are reinforcing the very state of mind you want to see more of. By doing this consistently, you are teaching your dog that calmness is a highly profitable behavior.
14. Create a Management Plan
Training takes time. For your next get-together, you need a step-by-step management plan that sets everyone up for success. This isn't about training; it's about managing the environment to prevent failure. Your plan might look something like this:
- T-60 minutes: Take the dog on a 30-minute sniffari walk.
- T-30 minutes: Bring the dog inside and give them a frozen Kong in their crate or on their "place" mat.
- T-5 minutes: Clip on their indoor leash.
- Doorbell Rings: Step on the leash, walk to the door.
- Guest Enters: Ask the guest to ignore the dog. Guide the dog to their "place" mat and reward them with a high-value chew, like a bully stick, that they only get when guests are over.
This plan removes the chaos and gives both you and your dog a predictable, stress-free routine to follow.
Training an over-excited dog to be calm around guests is a journey, not a destination. It requires consistency, patience (from you!), and a positive approach. Remember, every time you practice one of these techniques, you are making a deposit in your dog's "patience bank." Over time, those deposits add up, creating a dog who is not only a joy to live with but also a polite and welcoming host.
Don't get discouraged by setbacks. Start small, celebrate the tiny victories, and focus on building a stronger, more trusting relationship with your canine companion. With these tools in your arsenal, you can look forward to opening your door to friends and family with confidence and pride.
What are your biggest challenges when visitors come to your home? Which of these techniques are you most excited to try first? Share your stories and questions in the comments below
About the Author
Goh Ling Yong is a content creator and digital strategist sharing insights across various topics. Connect and follow for more content:
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