Top 15 'Big-Feelings-Navigating' Bonding Games to teach emotional co-regulation during toddler meltdowns. - Goh Ling Yong
The world shrinks to the size of a supermarket aisle. Your toddler, once happily pointing at colourful cereal boxes, is now a vortex of fury on the floor. Their screams are sharp, their little body is rigid with a feeling so big it’s spilling out everywhere. Every eye is on you. Your heart is pounding, your palms are sweating, and you feel a rising tide of panic, frustration, and helplessness.
If this scene feels familiar, take a deep breath. You are not alone, and you are not failing. You’re in the trenches of toddlerhood, where emotions are monumental and the tools to manage them are still under construction. The key isn't to stop the meltdown, but to navigate through it together. This is the heart of emotional co-regulation: you, the parent, become the calm, steady anchor in your child's emotional storm. You lend them your regulated nervous system until theirs can find its way back to shore.
But how do you do that when you're feeling dysregulated yourself? It’s not about lectures or logic. It’s about connection. Here at the Goh Ling Yong blog, we believe that the most powerful tools are often the most playful. We've compiled 15 'Big-Feelings-Navigating' bonding games that do more than just distract; they actively teach your child how to process emotions, build resilience, and strengthen your bond, even in the toughest moments.
1. Belly Breathing Buddies
This is a foundational game for teaching the physical sensation of calm. When a toddler is overwhelmed, their breathing becomes short and shallow, signaling to their brain that they're in danger. By consciously slowing their breath, we can reverse that signal.
Ask your child to lie down and choose a favourite small stuffed animal to be their "Breathing Buddy." Place the toy on their tummy. Explain that the buddy loves to go for a gentle ride. As they breathe in deeply, their belly should rise like a balloon, lifting the buddy up. As they breathe out slowly, the belly falls, bringing the buddy down. You can do it with them, narrating the buddy's journey.
Tip: Model it with soft, gentle sounds. "Whee, up goes teddy! And whoosh, sloooowly down he comes." The goal is 3-5 slow, intentional breaths. This simple act of focusing on the body is incredibly grounding and can be the first step out of an emotional spiral.
2. Dragon Breaths
When frustration and anger are the primary emotions, a gentle belly breath can feel impossible. Dragon Breaths give your child a powerful way to release that fiery energy in a safe and controlled way. It’s a physical manifestation of "letting it all out."
Crouch down together and say, "Let's be big, strong dragons!" Take a huge breath in through your nose, gathering up all the fiery, grumpy feelings. Then, open your mouth wide, stick out your tongue, and whoosh it all out with a big, audible "HAAAAA" sound. You can even pretend to breathe out colourful fire.
Tip: Use your hands to make it more dramatic. As you breathe in, raise your hands up like you're gathering energy. As you breathe out, push them forward like you're unleashing your dragon fire. This channels their aggressive energy into a playful, harmless action.
3. The Weather Report
This game is brilliant for externalizing feelings and teaching children that emotions, like the weather, come and go. It removes judgment and helps them develop an emotional vocabulary without feeling like they are the "bad" feeling.
During a moment of upset, you can gently ask, "What's the weather like inside you right now?" Is it a big, loud thunderstorm (anger)? A rainy day with lots of tears (sadness)? A confusing, foggy morning (confusion)? Or maybe it’s a swirling tornado (overwhelmed)?
Tip: You can be the weather reporter first. "My weather report says there's a thunderstorm in Leo's heart right now, with lots of loud thunder and flashing lightning. It feels really big!" This validates their experience without saying "You are angry." It's a subtle but powerful shift in language.
4. Squeeze the Lemons
Toddlers hold tension in their bodies without even realizing it. This game, a simplified version of progressive muscle relaxation, helps them connect with and release that physical stress.
Tell your child to pretend they have a juicy lemon in each hand. On the count of three, they need to squeeze ALL the juice out by making their hands into the tightest fists possible. Hold for a few seconds, then "drop the lemons" and let their hands go completely limp and floppy. Notice together how different their hands feel—tense versus relaxed.
Tip: You can extend this to the whole body. "Squeeze your toes like you're picking up marbles!" then release. "Shrug your shoulders up to your ears like a turtle!" then let them drop. This physical release can create an immediate sense of emotional relief.
5. Heavy Bear Hugs
Deep pressure is a well-known therapeutic tool that calms the nervous system. For a toddler in distress, it provides a powerful sense of security and containment, like a human weighted blanket. A Heavy Bear Hug isn't just a regular cuddle; it’s a firm, steady, and grounding embrace.
Ask your child, "Can I give you a big, heavy bear hug?" If they consent, wrap your arms firmly around their torso and gently squeeze, holding for 10-20 seconds while you breathe slowly. You're not restraining them; you're offering a secure physical boundary for their overwhelming feelings.
Tip: You can also turn this into "squishes." Have them lie on the floor and gently "squish" their legs, arms, and back with a cushion or pillow. The steady pressure provides calming proprioceptive input to their brain, helping them feel where their body is in space and bringing them back from a dissociated state.
6. Stomping Dinosaurs
Sometimes, a child just needs to get the frustration out of their body. Stifling that impulse can make a meltdown worse. Stomping Dinosaurs gives them permission to be loud and physical in a way that feels powerful, not destructive.
Say, "You have such big, angry feelings! Your body looks like it needs to stomp! Let's be giant T-Rexes and stomp out all the grumps!" Join them in stomping your feet on the ground. Make roaring sounds. This co-regulation shows them that you're not scared of their big feelings and that you're right there with them.
Tip: Designate a "Stomping Spot" in your house, like a sturdy rug or a specific corner. This helps them understand there are safe places and ways to express anger, rather than hitting a person or throwing a toy.
7. The Worry Monster Mailbox
While often used for general anxiety, this tool can be adapted for the aftermath of a meltdown. It helps a child process what happened by giving their big feelings a physical place to go.
Create a "Worry Monster" out of an old tissue box. Decorate it with googly eyes and a big mouth-slot. After your child has calmed down a bit, you can say, "That was a really scary feeling. Should we draw it and feed it to the Worry Monster so he can gobble it up?" They can scribble or draw their feeling on a small piece of paper and "post" it into the monster's mouth.
Tip: The act of drawing and "feeding" the monster is a ritual that provides closure. It externalizes the problem and gives the child a sense of agency over their emotions.
8. Magic Touch
This is a sensory grounding game that brings your child's awareness back to their body and the present moment, pulling them out of the emotional whirlwind in their head. It's gentle, connecting, and requires no words.
Once the peak of the storm has passed, gently ask if you can play Magic Touch. Using just one finger, very slowly trace a shape or a letter on their back, arm, or the palm of their hand. Ask them to guess what it is. The focus required to feel and identify the shape is a powerful mindfulness exercise.
Tip: Start with very simple shapes—a circle, a line, an 'X'. The slowness and gentleness of your touch are what make it so regulating. It communicates safety and care without overwhelming them with conversation.
9. The Safe Space Bubble
This imaginative game helps a child create a mental and emotional boundary when they feel overwhelmed. It gives them a feeling of control and safety, even when their internal world feels chaotic.
Ask your child to imagine a beautiful, shimmery bubble surrounding them. "What colour is your bubble? Is it sparkly? Is it strong?" Explain that this is their special safe space bubble. Nothing scary or upsetting can get inside. You can even pretend to gently test it by tapping on the outside.
Tip: You can use your arms to "draw" the bubble around them. Then, take a deep breath together and "blow" the bubble up until it's big and strong. This combines visualization with the calming effect of deep breathing.
10. Name That Feeling
Giving a name to a huge, scary emotion is the first step toward taming it. Dr. Dan Siegel calls this "Name It to Tame It." This game helps build your toddler's emotional intelligence one meltdown at a time.
During or after a tantrum, you can become a gentle detective. Instead of saying "Stop being angry," try observing. "Wow, your face is all scrunched up and your fists are tight. I wonder if the feeling is frustration?" Or, "You are crying so hard. It looks like sadness is visiting you right now."
Tip: Use a gentle, curious tone, not an accusatory one. You're not diagnosing them; you're offering them a word for their experience. If you get it wrong, they might even correct you, which is a fantastic sign that they are beginning to self-reflect.
11. The Feelings Flashlight
This game helps a child develop body awareness and understand where emotions live physically. It teaches them to listen to their body's signals.
Pretend you have a magic flashlight. Shine it (using your hand or a real flashlight) on different parts of their body and ask, "I'm shining the Feelings Flashlight on your tummy. Is there any angry-buzzy feeling in there? What about in your hands? Do they feel tight?"
Tip: This is especially useful after the meltdown has subsided. It helps them process the physical aftermath. You can also use it proactively: "Let's check in with the Feelings Flashlight. How is your heart feeling today?"
12. Shake the Sillies (or Grumpies) Out
Sometimes the body is buzzing with leftover adrenaline and cortisol after a big emotional release. A "shake-off" is a fantastic way to discharge that lingering energy and transition back to a playful, regulated state.
Put on a fun, upbeat song and declare a "Grumpies Shake-Out!" Start by shaking one hand, then the other. Shake a leg, then the other. Finally, shake your whole body like a wet dog. Be goofy and exaggerated. It's almost impossible to stay tense or angry when you're laughing and shaking.
Tip: This works best as the meltdown is winding down. It signals a shift in energy and helps your child move from a state of distress to a state of playfulness without dismissing the feelings that came before.
13. Heartbeat Hug
This is an intensely powerful co-regulation tool that uses your own calm body to regulate your child's. It's simple, primal, and deeply connecting. It reminds their nervous system what calm feels like.
When your child is upset, hold them close in a way that their ear is against your chest. Don't say anything at first. Just hold them and breathe deeply and slowly. Let them feel the slow, steady thump-thump of your heart.
Tip: You can softly hum or whisper, "Can you feel my heart? It's beating just for you. It's slow and calm. Let's see if your heart can match mine." Your calm heartbeat provides a biological rhythm for their frantic system to sync with, literally borrowing your calm.
14. Mirror, Mirror
This game is about pure, non-verbal validation. It shows your child that you see them and are willing to meet them in their emotional space. As my colleague Goh Ling Yong often emphasizes, feeling seen is a fundamental human need, especially for a child in distress.
Sit opposite your child. Gently and with a soft expression, mirror their facial expression. If they have a frowny face, you make a soft frowny face. If their brow is furrowed, you furrow yours. It's not about mocking them; it's about reflecting their feeling back to them with empathy.
Tip: Keep your energy very calm. You are the mirror, not an amplifier. After a moment, you can slowly soften your own expression, inviting them to soften theirs. This can be a gentle, non-verbal way to guide them back to a more neutral state.
15. Back-to-Back Rocking
For some toddlers, a face-to-face hug during a meltdown can feel too intense or confrontational. Back-to-back sitting offers physical connection and support without the pressure of eye contact.
Find a quiet spot on the floor and invite your child to sit with their back against yours. You can simply sit and breathe, feeling the support of each other's bodies. Or, you can begin to gently rock from side to side together. The shared rhythm and steady pressure are incredibly soothing.
Tip: You can softly sing a song or hum while you rock. This adds another layer of sensory regulation. It communicates, "I am here with you. We are in this together. You are safe."
Connection, Not Perfection
Remember, these aren't magic tricks guaranteed to instantly halt a tantrum. They are tools for building a bridge of connection when your child feels most lost. The goal isn't a quiet child; it's a connected one. Some days, a simple bear hug will be all it takes. Other days, you might have to ride out the entire thunderstorm before you can even suggest a game.
The real magic happens over time. With every Dragon Breath you take together, with every Worry you feed to the monster, you are weaving a safety net of emotional skills and trust. You are teaching your child that feelings are not emergencies, that they can be felt and navigated, and that you will always be their safe harbour.
What are your go-to strategies for navigating toddler meltdowns? Share your wisdom in the comments below—we can all learn from each other!
About the Author
Goh Ling Yong is a content creator and digital strategist sharing insights across various topics. Connect and follow for more content:
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