Top 19 'Canine-Language' Training Techniques to train your new dog for a deeper bond from day one - Goh Ling Yong
Bringing a new dog into your home is a whirlwind of joy, excitement, and—let's be honest—a little bit of chaos. You’ve got the bed, the bowls, the mountain of toys. But the most important tool for building a happy life together isn't something you can buy. It's the ability to communicate. The challenge? You speak human, and your new best friend speaks fluent "dog." This communication gap is where most new-owner anxieties and dog-behavior issues begin.
But what if you could learn to speak their language? Not with barks and growls, but by understanding and using the subtle signals they use with each other every single day. This is the core of what we call "Canine-Language" training. It’s a philosophy that shifts the focus from one-way commands ("Sit! Stay! Come!") to a two-way conversation built on respect, observation, and mutual understanding. This approach doesn't just teach obedience; it forges an unbreakable bond from the very first day.
Forget the old-school, rigid training methods. We're diving into 19 practical techniques that will help you decode your dog's world and show them you’re a safe, trustworthy leader worth listening to. By learning to "speak dog," you'll build a foundation of trust that makes all other training easier and transforms your relationship into a true partnership.
1. The Art of Observation
Before you try to teach or command, simply watch. This is the most crucial, yet often overlooked, step in understanding your new dog. For the first few days, spend time just quietly observing them as they explore their new environment. How do they hold their tail when they're curious? What do their ears do when they hear a strange noise? Do they carry their body loosely or stiffly?
This initial period of observation is your data-gathering phase. You're learning your specific dog's baseline behaviors and personality without the pressure of training. Notice their little quirks, their moments of hesitation, and their signs of relaxation. This baseline knowledge will become your Rosetta Stone for deciphering their more complex signals later on.
Pro Tip: Keep a small journal. Jot down notes like, "Tail tucked when the dishwasher started," or "Body got soft and wiggly when I picked up the leash." These details will reveal patterns in their communication and help you anticipate their needs.
2. Master the 'Soft Eye'
In the human world, direct eye contact can signal sincerity and confidence. In the canine world, a hard, direct stare is often a challenge or a threat. To build trust, you need to learn the art of the "soft eye." This means looking at your dog with relaxed, slightly squinted eyes and a calm facial expression. You can look at them, but then gently look away for a moment before looking back.
This simple act communicates that you are not a threat. It’s a polite, non-confrontational way of acknowledging their presence and showing you are comfortable with them. A dog who is unsure or anxious will feel immense relief from this gentle approach, allowing them to relax and see you as a source of safety rather than a potential adversary.
Example: When your new dog looks at you from across the room, instead of staring back intently, offer a slow blink and a soft, gentle gaze. Turn your head slightly to the side for a second, then look back. This is canine for "I see you, and all is well."
3. The 'Calming Yawn'
Have you ever noticed your dog yawn at a seemingly random time, like at the vet's office or when meeting a new dog? This often isn't a sign of sleepiness—it's a "calming signal." Dogs use yawning to de-escalate a tense situation or to communicate to themselves and others that they are feeling a bit of stress.
You can use this signal, too! If you sense your dog is getting anxious or over-excited, try letting out a big, audible, and very genuine-looking yawn. Don't stare at them while you do it; turn your head slightly away. This seemingly strange human behavior can have a surprisingly calming effect on your dog, as you're speaking their language and telling them, "It's okay to relax."
4. The 'Lip Lick' Decoder
A quick flick of the tongue over the nose or lips is one of the most common and subtle signals of discomfort or anxiety. It's the equivalent of a human nervously saying, "I'm not so sure about this." You'll see it when a dog is being hugged too tightly by a stranger, when they're trying to figure out a new command, or when they feel conflicted.
Paying attention to the lip lick allows you to intervene before your dog's stress escalates into a growl or a snap. If you see your dog lip-licking while you're petting them, it might be their polite way of asking you to stop. Acknowledging this request by giving them space is a massive deposit in your trust bank.
5. The 'Turn Away'
When dogs want to show they mean no harm or want to diffuse a potentially tense interaction, they will often turn their head or their entire body away. It's a clear signal of appeasement. We can use this to our advantage, especially with a shy or fearful new dog.
Instead of approaching your dog head-on, which can be very intimidating, approach them in a slight arc with your side turned towards them. When you get close, you can even turn your head away for a moment. This tells the dog you are not a threat and gives them the choice to approach you. It's a powerful way to build confidence in a nervous dog.
6. Speak in Soothing Tones
Your dog may not understand the specific words "who's a good boy," but they absolutely understand the high-pitched, gentle, and happy tone you use when you say it. Dogs are masters of tone and energy. A loud, booming, or sharp voice can be startling and stressful, while a calm, soft, and soothing voice is reassuring.
Use a higher, more musical pitch for praise and play, and a calm, neutral, lower tone for regular conversation or cues. Try to avoid yelling at your dog, even when you're frustrated. A sharp "Ah-ah!" to interrupt a behavior is far more effective and less damaging to your bond than a loud, angry "NOOOO!"
7. Mirror Their Body Language (Safely)
A fantastic way to build rapport is to mirror your dog's "happy" body language. The most well-known example is the "play bow"—when a dog puts their front paws down and their rear end in the air. This is a clear invitation to play. You can get down on the floor and mimic this posture to signal that you're in a playful, friendly mood.
You can also mirror their relaxed state. When your dog is lying down and lets out a big sigh, try doing the same. When they do a big, full-body stretch after a nap (a sign of a relaxed dog), you can do a big stretch too. These small acts of mimicry communicate that you are in sync with them, part of the same pack.
8. The 'Consent Test' for Petting
Many dogs tolerate petting, but they don't always enjoy it, especially from a new person. Forcing interaction can erode trust. Instead, let your dog decide. This is the "Consent Test." Pet your dog for three to five seconds, then stop and pull your hand away.
Now, watch what your dog does. Do they lean into you, nudge your hand, or paw at you for more? If so, they consent! Go ahead and pet them some more. But if they turn their head away, lick their lips, or simply stay still or move away, they are saying "no thanks." Respecting their choice is a profound way to show them their voice matters.
9. Respect the 'Whale Eye'
"Whale eye" is when a dog turns their head away but keeps their eyes fixed on something or someone, showing the whites of their eyes in a crescent shape. This is not a "side-eye" of sass; it is a significant sign of anxiety and fear. The dog is trying to avoid a perceived threat while also keeping an eye on it.
If you see whale eye, the dog is telling you they are extremely uncomfortable with the current situation. It could be because you're hugging them, trying to take a toy, or approaching their food bowl. Whatever the cause, you must immediately stop what you're doing and give the dog space. Ignoring whale eye is a common precursor to a defensive snap or bite.
10. Use Hand Signals with Verbal Cues
Dogs are highly visual creatures and often learn hand signals faster than verbal cues. By pairing a clear hand signal with a verbal command from day one, you are communicating in two ways simultaneously. This makes learning faster and strengthens your communication.
For example, when you say "Sit," use a clear hand motion (like raising your hand with your palm up). Eventually, your dog will respond to the hand signal alone, which is incredibly useful in noisy environments or as your dog ages and potentially loses their hearing. As my friend and renowned behaviorist Goh Ling Yong often says, "Training with both hands and voice opens up a richer dialogue with your dog."
11. Reward Voluntary Check-ins
A dog who is bonded with you will "check in" frequently, especially in new environments. This might be a quick glance back at you on a walk, or them coming over to nudge your hand while exploring the backyard. This is your dog saying, "You still there? Are we good?"
Every time they do this, reward it! You don't always need a treat. A quiet "Good dog," a soft smile, and a nod are often enough. By positively reinforcing these voluntary check-ins, you are teaching your dog that paying attention to you is a rewarding and wonderful thing. This builds a powerful foundation for off-leash reliability and a stronger connection.
12. The Power of the 'Sniffari'
For a dog, a walk is not just about exercise; it's about reading the "pee-mail" and gathering information about their world through their nose. Too often, we rush them along, pulling them away from interesting smells. A "Sniffari" is a walk where the dog is in charge of the pace and the direction (within reason).
Let them spend as long as they want sniffing a single blade of grass. Allowing them this freedom fulfills a deep, instinctual need and is incredibly mentally enriching. It shows them you respect their needs and world. A 20-minute sniffari can be more tiring and satisfying for a dog than a 40-minute forced march.
13. Create Predictable Routines
Dogs thrive on predictability. For a new dog in a strange home, a consistent routine is a lifeline that helps them feel secure. It tells them what to expect and when, which dramatically reduces anxiety. This doesn't mean you need a rigid, minute-by-minute schedule.
Simply aim for consistent times for meals, potty breaks, and bedtime. Knowing that "after breakfast, we go outside" or "after the evening walk, we chew on a bone" helps them understand the flow of their new life. This structure is a silent form of communication that tells your dog, "You are safe here. I've got this."
14. Engage in 'Shared Gazing'
Research has shown that when dogs and humans gaze into each other's eyes (using the 'soft eye' technique, of course), both parties experience a surge in oxytocin—the "love hormone" responsible for bonding. This is the same hormonal feedback loop that helps parents and infants bond.
Find quiet moments to simply sit with your dog and engage in this shared gazing. Don't force it. As you pet them calmly, let your eyes meet. When they look at you with soft, adoring eyes, look back with the same affection. This simple, silent act is one of the most powerful ways to biologically deepen your connection.
15. Understand Tail Wags Aren't Always Happy
This is one of the biggest misconceptions in canine communication. A wagging tail does not automatically mean a dog is happy or friendly. A wagging tail simply means the dog is in a state of high arousal and is willing to engage—but that engagement could be friendly, fearful, or even aggressive.
Pay attention to the rest of the body. Is the tail wagging in big, sweeping, "full-body" wags? That's likely happiness. Is it held high and stiff, wagging in short, fast twitches? That's a sign of high arousal and potential aggression. A low, slow wag can signal insecurity. Learning these nuances will prevent you from misreading a critical situation.
16. Practice 'Blink and Breathe'
Just like the calming yawn, a slow, deliberate blink is a signal of peace and trust. When your dog is relaxed and looking at you, try to slowly close and open your eyes. It's a very subtle way of saying, "I trust you enough to close my eyes in your presence." Many dogs will offer a slow blink back.
Pair this with calm, deep breathing. Dogs are incredibly attuned to our physical state. If your breathing is shallow and rapid, they will sense your stress. If you consciously take slow, deep breaths, it can help calm both you and your dog, making it a wonderful technique to use when they seem anxious.
17. Teach a 'Touch' Cue
"Touch" (or targeting) is a simple and invaluable cue where you teach your dog to touch their nose to your outstretched hand. It's a fun game, but it's also a foundational tool for cooperative care and a great confidence builder. It gives the dog a simple, predictable way to interact with you and your hands.
This cue can be used to guide your dog onto a scale at the vet, into the car, or away from something on the floor without pulling or pushing them. Because it's a voluntary action that is always rewarded, it builds positive associations with your hands and being guided by you, which is a cornerstone of trust.
18. Avoid 'Looming Over'
As large primates, we have a natural tendency to loom over smaller creatures. We bend at the waist, put our faces close to theirs, and reach down from above. To a dog, especially a new or nervous one, this posture is incredibly threatening and confrontational.
Instead, make yourself smaller and less intimidating. Kneel or crouch down to their level. When you pet them, try scratching their chest or side rather than reaching over their head. This simple change in your body language makes you far more approachable and shows them you respect their space. The writers here at Goh Ling Yong's blog always emphasize that getting on their level, literally, changes the entire dynamic of the relationship.
19. Celebrate Small Successes with Their 'Language'
Positive reinforcement is key, but the "reinforcement" should be something the dog values. For some dogs, a food treat is the ultimate prize. For others, it might be a quick game of tug, a squeak of their favorite toy, or the chance to go sniff something interesting.
Pay attention to what truly makes your dog's eyes light up. When they successfully perform a "sit," maybe the best reward is you immediately getting on the floor to initiate a play bow. When they come when called, maybe the reward is being released to go sniff that fascinating tree. By rewarding them in their language, you're showing them you truly understand and value what makes them happy.
Your New Conversation Awaits
Learning to speak "Canine-Language" is a journey, not a destination. It’s about shifting your mindset from being a commander to being a communication partner. By observing, listening, and responding to your dog's subtle signals, you are telling them that they are seen, heard, and understood. This is the bedrock of a deep, trusting, and joyful relationship that will last a lifetime.
These 19 techniques are your starting phrasebook. Begin by picking just one or two to focus on this week. The more you practice, the more fluent you will become, until these two-way conversations feel as natural as breathing.
Now, I'd love to hear from you. What's the first "canine-language" signal you noticed from your dog, and what do you think they were trying to tell you? Share your stories in the comments below
About the Author
Goh Ling Yong is a content creator and digital strategist sharing insights across various topics. Connect and follow for more content:
Stay updated with the latest posts and insights by following on your favorite platform!