Top 20 'Problem-Preventing' Basic Manners to train for New Pet Parents to Master From Day One
Welcome to the most exciting, chaotic, and love-filled chapter of your life: becoming a new pet parent! That first car ride home, the pitter-patter of new paws, the endless photo-ops—it's pure magic. But amidst the cuddles and cooing, a tiny voice might be whispering, "Now what?" How do you ensure this adorable little fluffball grows into a well-behaved, confident, and happy member of your family?
The secret isn't complicated. It’s about being proactive, not reactive. Instead of waiting for problems like incessant barking, chewed-up shoes, or fear of strangers to appear, you can prevent them from ever taking root. A philosophy we champion here at the Goh Ling Yong blog is that early training is the foundation for a lifetime of understanding and companionship. It’s about teaching your new friend how to navigate our human world calmly and confidently.
This isn't about creating a perfectly obedient robot; it's about fostering clear communication and mutual respect. By mastering these 20 "problem-preventing" manners from day one, you're not just teaching commands—you're building a bond of trust and setting your pet up for a lifetime of success. Let's dive in!
1. Mastering the Crate or Carrier
A crate or carrier should be a safe haven, not a punishment. When introduced correctly, this space becomes your pet's personal den—a place they willingly go to rest, feel secure during travel, or decompress when overwhelmed. This single skill prevents a host of issues, including separation anxiety, destructive chewing when you're away, and house-soiling accidents.
Start by making the crate the best place on Earth. Feed your pet their meals inside, leave the door open with comfy bedding and special toys, and randomly drop high-value treats in there for them to discover. Never force them in or use it for discipline. The goal is to build a positive association, so they see it as their cozy, private retreat.
Pro-Tip: For puppies, play short crate games. Toss a treat in, say "Crate!", and when they go in, praise them lavishly and let them come right back out. Gradually increase the time they spend inside with the door closed, starting with just a few seconds.
2. A Rock-Solid Potty Training Protocol
This one is non-negotiable and prevents the number one reason pets are surrendered: house soiling. Success with potty training isn't about scolding; it's about diligent management and positive reinforcement. Establish a routine and stick to it religiously.
For puppies, this means taking them out first thing in the morning, last thing at night, after every nap, after every meal, after every play session, and at least once every hour to start. For cats, it means providing a clean, accessible litter box in a quiet location. When they eliminate in the correct spot, reward them with enthusiastic praise and a tasty treat immediately as they finish.
Pro-Tip: Until your pet is 100% reliable, they should either be directly supervised, in their crate, or tethered to you. This management prevents them from having the chance to make a mistake. Accidents will happen—clean them with an enzymatic cleaner to eliminate odors that attract them back to the same spot.
3. Eager Acceptance of Handling
Imagine if someone suddenly started grabbing your feet, prying open your mouth, or poking in your ears without warning. You’d probably resist, too! Teaching your pet to tolerate and even enjoy handling is crucial for stress-free vet visits, grooming, and nail trims. It prevents fear-based biting and scratching down the line.
Start slowly and pair every touch with something wonderful, like a lick of peanut butter or a high-value treat. Gently touch a paw for one second, then treat. Touch an ear, then treat. Lift their lip, then treat. Keep sessions short (30-60 seconds) and always end on a positive note before your pet gets fussy.
Pro-Tip: Use a "consent test." Hold the nail clippers or brush near your pet. If they lean in or remain relaxed, proceed for a moment. If they turn away or stiffen, stop. This teaches them they have a choice and builds immense trust.
4. 'Sit' as the Default Polite Behavior
"Sit" is more than just a party trick; it's a foundational skill for impulse control. By teaching your pet to sit automatically for things they want—like their food bowl, a leash being put on, or a door being opened—you are teaching them to say "please" in a way you can understand.
This simple act of sitting prevents a myriad of unwanted behaviors like jumping on guests, bolting out of open doors, and mobbing you for their dinner. It gives your pet a constructive, calm way to ask for things instead of resorting to demanding or unruly behavior.
Pro-Tip: Don't even say the word "Sit" at first. Hold a treat over their head and move it slightly backward. Their head will go up, and their rear will naturally go down. The moment their bottom hits the floor, mark the behavior with a "Yes!" and give them the treat.
5. The Lifesaving 'Leave It' Cue
From dropped medication on the floor to a chicken bone on the sidewalk, the world is full of things your pet shouldn't eat. 'Leave It' is a critical safety cue that teaches your pet to disengage from a tempting item. It prevents accidental poisonings, choking hazards, and fights over found "treasures."
Start with two different types of treats: one boring (kibble) and one high-value (cheese). Place the boring treat in your closed fist. Let your pet sniff and lick your hand. The moment they pull their head away, even for a second, say "Yes!" and give them the high-value treat from your other hand. They quickly learn that ignoring the item gets them something better.
Pro-Tip: Never let them "win" and get the 'Leave It' item. The reward must always come from you, reinforcing that you are the source of all good things.
6. The Essential 'Drop It' Command
'Drop It' is the follow-up to 'Leave It'. It's for when your pet has already picked up something they shouldn't have. Instead of panicking and chasing them (which turns it into a fun game of keep-away), a reliable 'Drop It' can prevent them from swallowing something dangerous.
To teach this, give your pet a toy they like but don't absolutely love. Then, offer them a super high-value treat. To take the treat, they'll have to drop the toy. The moment they do, say "Drop It!" and give them the treat. Over time, they'll learn the cue means "release what's in your mouth for an awesome reward."
Pro-Tip: Always trade up! The item you're offering should be significantly better than the item they have. This prevents resource guarding and makes them happy to trade with you.
7. Enjoyable Loose-Leash Walking
A walk should be a relaxing experience for both of you, not an arm-yanking tug-of-war. Teaching loose-leash walking from the very first outing prevents a lifelong habit of pulling, which can cause injury to both you and your pet. The goal is for the leash to remain in a "J" shape, with no tension.
Start in a low-distraction area like your hallway or backyard. The second you feel tension on the leash, simply stop moving. Wait for your pet to re-engage with you and release the tension. The moment the leash goes slack, praise them and continue walking. They learn that a tight leash means "stop" and a loose leash means "go."
Pro-Tip: Reward your pet for "checking in" with you. Whenever they look back at you on a walk, praise them and give them a treat. This encourages them to stay focused on you rather than pulling toward every distraction.
8. Greeting People Politely (All Four Paws on the Floor)
Jumping up is a natural greeting for dogs, but it can be dangerous and frightening for guests, especially children or the elderly. Teaching an alternative, polite greeting from day one prevents this common and frustrating problem.
The best alternative is a 'Sit'. When a guest arrives, have your dog on a leash. Ask your guest to ignore them completely until they sit. The moment they sit, the guest can offer calm praise and a gentle pet. If the dog jumps up, the guest should immediately stand up, turn their back, and ignore them again. The dog learns that jumping makes people go away, while sitting brings attention.
Pro-Tip: Practice with family members first. Manage the environment so your pet can't fail—use a leash, baby gate, or have them in their crate when guests first arrive, bringing them out once the initial excitement has passed.
9. Positive Socialization (Quality Over Quantity)
Socialization is arguably the most critical task for any young pet. It's not about forcing them to interact with as many things as possible; it's about creating positive, happy experiences with new sights, sounds, surfaces, people, and other animals. Proper socialization prevents fear, anxiety, and aggression later in life.
As Goh Ling Yong often emphasizes, the goal is to build confidence, not to overwhelm. Take your puppy to a pet-friendly cafe and just sit and watch the world go by from a distance, rewarding them with treats for calm behavior. Let them walk on different surfaces like grass, pavement, and carpet. Introduce them to vaccinated, friendly adult dogs who can teach them good manners.
Pro-Tip: The critical socialization window for puppies is between 3 and 16 weeks of age. For kittens, it's between 2 and 7 weeks. Make every new experience during this time positive and fun.
10. Unshakable Name Recognition and Recall
Your pet's name should be a signal for "good things are about to happen!" A strong recall ('Come!') is the ultimate safety net, preventing them from running into traffic, getting lost, or approaching an unfriendly dog.
Start by saying their name in a happy tone, and when they look at you, give them a treat. That's it. For recall, start in the house. Say "Come!" in an excited voice and run a few steps away. When they come to you, throw a treat party with lots of praise. Never, ever call your pet to punish them; this will poison the cue and teach them not to come to you.
Pro-Tip: Play recall games with a partner. Sit across the room from each other and take turns calling the pet back and forth, rewarding them every single time. It builds a fun and powerful association with the word "Come!"
11. Building a Tolerance for Alone Time
Separation anxiety is a serious and heartbreaking condition for both pets and their owners. You can prevent it by teaching your new companion from the very beginning that being alone is safe and normal.
Start with very short absences. Put your pet in their crate or a puppy-proofed room with a special toy (like a food-stuffed Kong), walk out the door, and come right back in. Don't make a big fuss about leaving or returning. Gradually increase the duration of your absences. This teaches them that you always come back and that being alone can be a peaceful, rewarding time.
Pro-Tip: A security camera can be a new pet parent's best friend. It allows you to monitor your pet for signs of stress (pacing, whining, barking) so you know when you've pushed them too far and need to scale back the duration.
12. Bite Inhibition (A Soft Mouth)
Puppies and kittens explore the world with their mouths. It’s your job to teach them how to do so gently. Bite inhibition is the skill of controlling the pressure of their jaw. A pet with good bite inhibition who gets startled is much less likely to cause serious injury than one without it.
When your puppy or kitten mouths you, allow it gently. But if they bite down too hard, yelp "Ouch!" in a high-pitched voice and briefly withdraw your hand. This mimics how their littermates would teach them. If they persist, calmly get up and walk away for 30 seconds. This teaches them that hard biting ends the fun game.
Pro-Tip: Always redirect their mouth onto an appropriate chew toy. Keep toys handy so you can quickly swap your hand for a toy. This shows them what they are allowed to chew on.
13. Respecting Boundaries (No Counter-Surfing or Furniture Hopping)
Establishing clear boundaries prevents a whole host of annoying behaviors, from stolen sandwiches off the counter to fur-covered furniture. The key is consistency and management. If you don't want your cat on the kitchen counter, never let them on the kitchen counter.
Management is your first line of defense. Keep counters clear of tempting food and use baby gates to block off-limit rooms. For furniture, teach an "Off" cue. When they jump up, say "Off" and lure them down with a treat. Reward them for being on the floor or in their own designated bed.
Pro-Tip: Make their "allowed" spots extra appealing. If you want them off your couch, get them an incredibly comfortable pet bed and reward them every time you see them using it on their own.
14. The Power of 'Stay' and 'Place'
A 'Stay' or 'Place' cue (sending them to their mat/bed) is a superpower for impulse control. It's incredibly useful when you have guests at the door, are bringing in groceries, or just need a moment of calm. It teaches your pet to relax in a designated spot until released.
Start by luring your pet onto their mat. The second all four paws are on it, reward them. Repeat this until they're happily going to the mat. Then, add the verbal cue "Place." Gradually add duration, rewarding them for staying for a few seconds at a time, and then slowly add distance by taking a step back before returning to reward them.
Pro-Tip: Use a "release word" like "Okay!" or "Free!" to let them know the exercise is over. This makes the 'Stay' more defined and reliable.
15. Stress-Free Collar and Harness Acceptance
The daily ritual of putting on a collar or harness can become a stressful wrestling match if not introduced properly. This can lead to your pet running away and hiding whenever they see the leash, making walk time a chore.
Create a positive association. Show them the harness, then give them a treat. Touch them with the harness, then treat. Place the harness over their head (without buckling), then treat and remove it. Go slowly, at your pet's pace, until they are happily putting their head through the loop to get their reward.
Pro-Tip: For the first few days, let your pet wear their new harness around the house for short periods (supervised) so they can get used to the feeling of it.
16. Calm Car Ride Etiquette
A pet that panics in the car is both a danger to themselves and the driver. Teaching car ride etiquette from day one ensures safer travel and opens up a world of adventures. The goal is a pet who settles calmly in a secure carrier or restraint.
Start with the car turned off. Just sit in the car with your pet for a few minutes, giving them treats and praise. Then, progress to turning the engine on, then to a short trip down the driveway, and finally to a quick ride around the block to a fun destination like a park. This prevents the car from only being associated with trips to the vet.
Pro--Tip: For safety, always secure your pet in the car using a crash-tested crate, carrier, or safety harness. Never let them roam free or ride in your lap.
17. The 'Quiet' or 'Settle' Cue
Barking, meowing, and whining are normal forms of communication, but constant vocalization can be a serious problem. Teaching a 'Quiet' or 'Settle' cue gives you a way to manage this and encourages your pet to relax on cue.
When your pet is barking, wait for a brief moment of silence. The second they are quiet, say "Yes!" and give them a treat. The timing is critical. You're rewarding the silence, not the barking. Gradually extend the duration of silence required to earn the reward. You can then pair this with a 'Quiet' cue.
Pro-Tip: First, make sure their needs are met. Are they barking out of boredom, fear, or a need to go potty? Address the underlying cause before trying to train away the symptom.
18. Preventing Resource Guarding
Resource guarding (aggression over food, toys, or space) can be a serious behavioral issue. You can prevent it by teaching your pet from an early age that a human approaching their valuables is a good thing, not a threat.
While your pet is eating their meal, walk by and casually toss an extra-special treat (like a piece of chicken) into their bowl. They learn that your approach makes their meal even better. For toys, practice the 'Drop It' trading game. This builds trust and shows them there's no need to be protective.
Pro-Tip: Never just take a bowl or toy away from your pet without trading. This can create the very guarding behavior you're trying to prevent.
19. Positive Vet Visit Preparation
The vet's office can be a scary place full of strange smells, sounds, and sensations. You can dramatically reduce this anxiety by preparing your pet for the experience. This prevents the need for heavy restraint or sedation and makes essential medical care much less stressful for everyone involved.
In addition to practicing handling at home, schedule a few "happy visits" to your vet clinic. Just pop into the lobby for a minute, have the reception staff give your pet a treat and some praise, and then leave. This helps your pet build a positive association with the building itself.
Pro-Tip: Get your pet used to standing on a non-slip surface like a bath mat, which can mimic the feel of the vet's scale or exam table. Reward them for standing calmly.
20. Teaching Appropriate Play
It's cute when a tiny kitten bats at your hands, but it's not so cute when a full-grown cat with sharp claws does it. From day one, teach your pet the difference between play toys and human body parts. This prevents painful scratches and bites during play.
The rule is simple: hands are for petting, and toys are for playing. If your pet starts to get mouthy or scratchy with your hands during play, immediately redirect their energy onto an appropriate toy, like a wand toy for a cat or a tug rope for a dog. If they persist, end the game for a minute.
Pro-Tip: For pets who get over-aroused easily, focus on games that don't involve your hands directly. Use flirt poles, fetch, or puzzle toys to engage their minds and bodies in a constructive way.
Your Journey Starts Now
Whew, that's a long list! But don't be intimidated. Think of these 20 manners as a roadmap for your first few months together. The two most important ingredients for success are patience and consistency. Every member of your household needs to be on the same page with the rules and rewards.
Remember, you are building a relationship. Every short training session, every reward for a good choice, and every moment of calm management strengthens your bond. You're teaching your pet a new language, and it's one that will serve you both for the rest of your lives. You’ve got this!
What's the very first manner you're excited to start working on with your new best friend? Share your goals and questions in the comments below—we’d love to cheer you on!
About the Author
Goh Ling Yong is a content creator and digital strategist sharing insights across various topics. Connect and follow for more content:
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