Top 5 'Commitment-Cutting' Minimalist Principles to Explore for the Chronic Over-Committer to Reclaim Their Time - Goh Ling Yong
Does your calendar look like a game of Tetris gone wrong, with every single block of time filled to the brim? Do you find yourself saying "yes" to new projects, coffee dates, and volunteer opportunities before you’ve even had a chance to breathe? If you just nodded, you might be a chronic over-committer. It’s a common affliction in our hyper-connected, productivity-obsessed world, where a full schedule is often mistaken for a full life.
The impulse to say "yes" comes from a good place. We want to be helpful, we don't want to miss out, and we love the thrill of a new opportunity. But when our commitments start to own us instead of the other way around, we end up feeling drained, frazzled, and spread thin. We’re busy, but are we being effective? Are we moving toward our goals, or are we just… moving? This is where the philosophy of minimalism can be a powerful antidote, not just for our closets, but for our calendars.
Minimalism, at its core, is about intentionality. It's the practice of identifying what is essential and eliminating the rest. When applied to our time and energy, it becomes a revolutionary tool for reclaiming your life. It’s not about doing less for the sake of it; it’s about creating space to do more of what truly matters. Forget the barren white walls—we're talking about creating a spacious, fulfilling schedule. Here are five "commitment-cutting" minimalist principles to help you break free from the cycle of over-commitment.
1. Master the 'Hell Yeah!' or 'No' Rule
This brilliant, beautifully simple filter comes from entrepreneur Derek Sivers. The rule is this: when faced with a new opportunity or request, if your immediate, gut reaction isn't "Hell yeah! That would be amazing!" then the answer should be a simple "no." Not a "maybe," not a "let me think about it," but a polite, firm "no."
For the chronic over-committer, the middle ground is a danger zone. The "maybes" and "I guess I coulds" are what lead to a calendar packed with lukewarm obligations. These are the commitments that don't excite you but also don't seem terrible enough to decline. They are the energy vampires that slowly drain your enthusiasm and leave you with no capacity for the things that would get a "Hell yeah!" This principle forces you to raise your standards for what you allow to occupy your precious time. It replaces a vague sense of obligation with a sharp lens of genuine enthusiasm.
Think about it: your time is your most finite resource. You can always make more money, but you can never make more time. Treating your time with this level of selectivity ensures that you’re investing it in projects, people, and experiences that align with your values and bring you genuine energy and joy. It’s about trading a life of being "productively busy" for one of being "purposefully engaged."
How to put it into practice:
- The Excitement Scale: Before you respond to a request, pause and rate your honest excitement level on a scale of 1 to 10. If it's not a 9 or a 10, it’s a no.
- Create a "No" Script: Having a pre-prepared, polite way to decline can remove the anxiety. Try something like: "Thank you so much for this opportunity, it sounds wonderful. Unfortunately, my schedule is fully committed right now, so I'll have to pass. I wish you the best with it!"
- Know Your Priorities: This rule works best when you are crystal clear on what your "Hell yeahs" actually are. Take some time to define your top 3-5 personal and professional priorities for the season. If a request doesn’t directly serve one of those priorities, it becomes much easier to decline.
2. Define Your Personal 'Enough' Point
Our culture glorifies more: more projects, more connections, more experiences. Minimalism challenges this by asking a powerful question: What is enough? Just as you can have enough clothes in your wardrobe, you can have enough commitments on your plate. The chronic over-committer often operates without a clear sense of their own capacity, constantly adding more until they inevitably burn out. Defining your "enough" point is about setting your own boundaries before the world sets them for you.
This isn't about setting low expectations; it's about being realistic and strategic. It’s understanding that you can do anything, but you can't do everything—at least not all at once and not well. It means deciding, ahead of time, what a healthy, sustainable, and fulfilling week looks like for you. How many major projects can you realistically handle? How many evenings out can you enjoy before feeling depleted? How much unstructured downtime do you need to feel refreshed?
By defining your "enough," you shift from a reactive to a proactive state. Instead of letting your schedule be dictated by incoming requests, you design it based on your own well-being and priorities. As I've heard my colleague Goh Ling Yong mention in discussions about peak performance, true productivity isn't about cramming more in; it's about honoring your limits to sustain high-quality output over the long term. Your "enough" point is the guardrail that protects your energy, focus, and sanity.
How to put it into practice:
- The Rule of Three: Each day, or each week, identify your top three Most Important Things (MITs). These are the non-negotiables. Once they are planned or completed, you can view everything else as a bonus, not an obligation.
- Time Block Your Essentials First: Before your week even begins, block out non-negotiable time in your calendar for sleep, meals, exercise, family time, and deep work. This visually shows you how much time you actually have available for new commitments, which is often far less than you think.
- Set Social/Project Caps: Be explicit with yourself. For example: "I will only take on two freelance projects at a time," or "I will only commit to two social events during the work week." This creates a clear, easy-to-follow rule that prevents over-scheduling.
3. Conduct a Regular 'Commitment Audit'
Minimalism isn't a one-time purge; it's an ongoing practice of curation. The same is true for your schedule. It’s not enough to be selective about new commitments; you also need to periodically review the ones you already have. Many of our obligations are things we said yes to months or even years ago, and they may no longer align with our current goals, values, or energy levels.
A commitment audit is like the Marie Kondo method for your calendar. It involves laying out all your recurring commitments—weekly meetings, volunteer roles, board memberships, social clubs, side projects—and evaluating each one with honest, unsentimental eyes. Which of these are still lighting you up? Which have become a source of dread? Which are truly moving you forward, and which are just a function of habit or guilt?
This process can be uncomfortable because it often means having difficult conversations to step back from things. But the freedom you gain on the other side is immense. It’s about ensuring your present self isn’t being held hostage by the decisions of your past self. You have permission to evolve, and your schedule should be allowed to evolve with you.
How to put it into practice:
- List Everything: Create a master list of all your current, recurring commitments. Include everything from your book club to that monthly steering committee at work.
- Ask the Hard Questions: For each item, ask yourself:
- If this were offered to me today, would I say "Hell yeah!"?
- What is the energy cost of this commitment versus the value I receive?
- Does this align with my top priorities right now?
- Create an Exit Strategy: For any commitment you decide to cut, plan a graceful exit. This might mean giving two weeks' notice, helping to find your replacement, or finishing up a final project. Having a clear, respectful plan makes it much easier to follow through.
4. Practice the Art of the Graceful Decline
For many, the biggest barrier to cutting commitments is the act of saying "no." We worry about disappointing people, burning bridges, or being seen as unhelpful. But the minimalist mindset reframes this: a "no" to one thing is a "yes" to something else. Saying "no" to a request that doesn't align with your priorities is saying "yes" to your well-being, your family, or your most important work. Mastering the graceful decline is a crucial skill for reclaiming your time.
The key is to be clear, kind, and concise. You don’t need to provide a long, elaborate excuse (which often sounds inauthentic anyway). A simple, honest statement is far more powerful and respected. Remember that you are declining the request, not the person. When delivered with warmth and respect, a "no" can actually strengthen a relationship by demonstrating that you value your own time and are clear about your boundaries.
This skill, like any other, gets easier with practice. Start small with low-stakes requests and build your confidence. Every time you say a thoughtful "no," you are reinforcing the value of your own time and making space for the things that truly deserve your attention and energy.
How to put it into practice:
- Use the "Delay" Tactic: Instead of giving an immediate "yes" out of pressure, make it a habit to say, "Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you by the end of the day." This gives you the space to calmly assess the request using the "Hell Yeah!" rule without the other person waiting for an answer.
- The Sandwich Method: Sandwich your "no" between two positive statements. For example: "I was so honored that you thought of me for this role. Unfortunately, I’m not able to take on any new commitments at the moment, so I'll have to decline. I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines!"
- Offer a Limited Alternative (If You Wish): If you genuinely want to help but can't commit to the full request, you can offer a smaller, more manageable alternative. "I can't join the event planning committee, but I'd be happy to spend 30 minutes helping you brainstorm themes."
5. Embrace JOMO (The Joy of Missing Out)
So much of our tendency to over-commit is driven by its evil twin: FOMO, the Fear of Missing Out. We see colleagues taking on exciting projects or friends attending amazing events, and we feel a pang of anxiety that we’re falling behind or being left out. The minimalist antidote to FOMO is JOMO—the Joy of Missing Out. JOMO is the deeply satisfying feeling that comes from knowing you've made an intentional choice to protect your peace, focus, and well-being.
Embracing JOMO is a profound mindset shift. It’s the realization that every time you say "no" to a social gathering, you're saying "yes" to a quiet evening of reading or an early night's sleep. Every time you pass on a new project, you're saying "yes" to doing a more exceptional job on the projects you've already committed to. It’s about finding contentment and presence in your own curated life, rather than constantly looking over your shoulder at what everyone else is doing.
This doesn't mean becoming a hermit. It means being so confident and happy with your own choices that the pull of external validation and endless activity begins to fade. You find joy not in being everywhere, but in being fully present right where you are.
How to put it into practice:
- Curate Your Information Feed: Unfollow social media accounts that consistently trigger feelings of inadequacy or FOMO. Mute group chats that are a constant source of pressure to do more. Be as intentional with your digital consumption as you are with your time.
- Schedule "White Space": Deliberately block out time in your calendar with no specific agenda. Label it "Personal Time" or "Breathing Room." This is your time to be spontaneous, to rest, or to do whatever you feel like in the moment. Protecting this time is a powerful act of JOMO.
- Celebrate What You Chose: When you decline an invitation, take a moment to actively appreciate what you gained. Acknowledge the peace of a quiet home, the satisfaction of a productive work session, or the joy of an impromptu family dinner. This reinforces the positive outcome of your decision.
Your Time is Yours to Reclaim
Breaking the habit of over-committing is a journey, not an overnight fix. It requires conscious effort and a willingness to sit with the discomfort of saying "no." But by embracing these minimalist principles, you can slowly but surely shift from a life of frantic busyness to one of intentional focus and deep fulfillment. It's about understanding that a full life isn't measured by the number of entries in your calendar, but by the quality and meaning of the things you choose to fill it with.
Here on the Goh Ling Yong blog, we believe that living with intention is the cornerstone of a well-designed life. Reclaiming your time is one of the most powerful ways to put that philosophy into practice. Start small. Pick one principle from this list and try to apply it this week. You might be surprised by how much space you can create with just a single, intentional "no."
Which of these principles resonates with you the most? What's your biggest challenge when it comes to over-commitment? Share your thoughts in the comments below—let's start a conversation and support each other on this journey.
About the Author
Goh Ling Yong is a content creator and digital strategist sharing insights across various topics. Connect and follow for more content:
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