Top 6 Emotional Regulation Games to Practice with Your Overwhelmed Preschooler at Home
The sound of a tiny foot stomping. The high-pitched wail that seems to shake the very windows. The sudden transformation of your sweet, giggling preschooler into a puddle of tears and frustration on the floor. If this scene feels familiar, you're not alone. Navigating the intense, larger-than-life emotions of a three or four-year-old can feel like trying to direct a hurricane with a traffic wand. It's exhausting, confusing, and can leave you feeling completely overwhelmed yourself.
Here's a truth that can change everything: these meltdowns aren't a sign of "bad behavior." They're a signal. Your preschooler's brain is still under major construction, especially the part that manages big feelings. They aren't giving you a hard time; they are having a hard time. They lack the tools to understand what they're feeling, let alone what to do about it. The good news? You can be their construction manager, and the best tools you have are connection and play.
Instead of just managing the meltdowns, we can proactively teach our children the skills they need to navigate their inner world. This is the core of social-emotional learning. By turning these lessons into games, we make them fun, memorable, and accessible. You're not just distracting them; you're equipping them with foundational coping skills for life. Ready to play? Here are six of our favorite emotional regulation games to practice at home.
1. The Volcano Eruption
This game is a fantastic way to help children understand the physical sensation of anger or frustration building up inside them. It externalizes the feeling, giving them a tangible metaphor for something that feels abstract and scary. It teaches them that emotions can grow in intensity but can also be released in a safe, controlled way.
The goal is to act out being a volcano, moving from dormant to a full-blown (but safe!) eruption. Start by sitting on the floor together. You are both sleepy volcanoes. Huddle into a little ball and say, "The volcano is quiet and calm." Then, introduce a small frustration. "Uh oh, I feel a little rumble. Someone knocked over my block tower! Grrrr." Wiggle just a little bit and make a low rumbling sound. Gradually increase the intensity. "Now I'm starting to feel shaky. The lava is getting hot! I can't find my favorite crayon! GRRRRRR!" Shake your arms and legs and make louder noises.
Finally, you reach the peak. "I'm so frustrated! I'm going to ERUPT!" On this cue, you both jump up and have a "safe eruption." This is the key part. The eruption isn't about hitting or screaming at someone. It can be stomping your feet as hard as you can, roaring like a dinosaur into a cushion, shaking your whole body out, or doing ten big star jumps. Afterward, the volcano becomes dormant again. Sink back to the floor, take a few deep breaths, and say, "Phew. The volcano is calm again."
- Pro-Tip: Practice this when everyone is calm and in a good mood. It’s a game, not a punishment. When your child starts to get genuinely upset later, you can use the language you practiced: "It looks like you're starting to rumble. Do you feel like a volcano? Should we do a safe eruption together?"
2. The Feeling Detective
Emotional literacy—the ability to name and understand feelings—is the first step toward managing them. You can't regulate an emotion you can't identify. The "Feeling Detective" game turns this learning process into a fun and engaging mystery to solve.
For this game, you'll need some "clues." These can be emotion flashcards (you can find these online or draw simple faces yourself: happy, sad, angry, scared, surprised). Spread the clues out on the floor. Your job is to act out one of the emotions without using any words. Hunch your shoulders, put on a sad face, and pretend to cry. Your little detective's job is to guess the feeling ("Sad!") and find the matching card. Then, switch roles. Let them be the actor!
Take it a step further by having the detective ask "why." For example, after they guess you're feeling sad, they can ask, "Detective asks: why are you sad?" You can make up a simple reason: "I'm sad because my ice cream fell on the floor." This helps connect the emotion to a cause, building empathy and understanding. You can also play this while reading books. Pause the story and ask, "How do you think that character is feeling right now? Look at their face. Let's be feeling detectives!"
- Specific Example: Let's say your child often gets frustrated when they can't build a tower perfectly. Later, during the game, you can act out that specific frustration. Scrunch up your face, make a huffing sound, and knock over a few blocks. When they guess "frustrated," you can talk about it. "Yes! I felt so frustrated the blocks wouldn't stay up. What's something we can do when we feel frustrated?"
3. The Turtle Tuck
Sometimes, the world just feels too big, too loud, and too much. This game gives your child a physical strategy to create a sense of personal space and safety when they feel overwhelmed or scared. It’s a portable coping mechanism they can use anywhere, from a busy grocery store to a noisy classroom.
Tell your child a story about a little turtle who sometimes felt scared or angry. When those big feelings came, the turtle knew just what to do: he would tuck into his safe, strong shell where he could take a break. To play, have your child get on their hands and knees. Then, say the magic words: "Turtle tuck!" They should pull their head down, tuck their arms and legs in close to their body, and curl up into a little ball, just like a turtle.
While they are "in their shell," guide them to take a few slow, deep breaths. This is a moment of pause. It's not about hiding forever; it's about taking a short break to calm their body and brain. After a few seconds, you can say, "Okay, the feeling has passed. You can come out now!" and they can slowly uncurl. This simple, physical action interrupts the stress response and provides a comforting, self-soothing sensation. The deep pressure of being curled up can be incredibly calming for a child's nervous system.
- Pro-Tip: Make it silly at first. Practice tucking and coming out several times. You can even have a "turtle family" where everyone tucks into their shells together. This normalizes the act of taking a break when emotions get big.
4. The Traffic Light Game
Impulse control is a massive challenge for preschoolers. Their brains are wired to act first and think later. The "Traffic Light" game provides a simple, visual framework to help them practice the crucial skill of pausing before they react. This is a cognitive strategy that, with practice, can become more automatic.
Create three colored circles: red, yellow, and green. You can use paper plates, construction paper, or even colored blocks. Explain what each color means in the context of a problem:
- Red Light: Stop! Freeze your body and take a deep breath. Don't do or say anything yet.
- Yellow Light: Slow down and think. What is the problem? What are some things I could do? (This is where you brainstorm choices).
- Green Light: Go! Pick the best choice and try it out.
Role-play simple scenarios. For example: "The problem is, your sister just took the blue crayon you were using." Hold up the red light. "First, we STOP. We don't grab or yell. We take a breath." Then, hold up the yellow light. "Now, we THINK. What are our choices? We could ask for it back nicely. We could tell a grown-up. We could find another color to use." Finally, hold up the green light. "Now, we GO. Let's try asking nicely first." Practice this over and over with different problems.
- Why it Works: This game externalizes the internal process of self-regulation. At the Goh Ling Yong practice, we know that making abstract concepts concrete is key for young learners. A physical traffic light they can see and touch is far more effective than just saying "calm down." It gives them a clear, step-by-step plan for what "calming down" actually looks like.
5. Breathing Buddies
We often tell kids to "take a deep breath," but most have no idea how to do it effectively. They might take a quick, shallow breath into their chest or puff their cheeks out. "Breathing Buddies" makes the concept of deep belly breathing concrete, gentle, and fun.
Have your child lie down comfortably on their back on the floor or a yoga mat. Ask them to choose a "breathing buddy"—a small stuffed animal or a favorite lightweight toy. Place the buddy on their belly, just below their ribcage.
Now, explain the game. Their job is to make their buddy go for a slow, gentle ride. As they breathe in slowly through their nose, their belly should fill with air like a balloon, making the buddy rise up. As they breathe out slowly through their mouth, their belly should fall, bringing the buddy back down. You can narrate it: "Look, you're giving Teddy a ride up to the sky... and now he's floating gently back down." Encourage them to take 5 to 10 slow "buddy breaths." Do it with them, placing your own breathing buddy on your belly.
- Extra Tip: Play calming music in the background. You can also integrate this into your bedtime routine. It's a beautiful, connecting way to wind down the day and serves as a powerful anchor. When they are upset during the day, you can refer back to it: "Remember how we gave Teddy a ride on our tummy? Let's try some of those belly breaths now."
6. The "Calm-Down Jar" Creation Station
This is both a proactive crafting activity and a powerful in-the-moment tool. A calm-down jar (or glitter jar) is mesmerizing and helps an overwhelmed child focus their attention on something external, giving their racing thoughts and feelings a chance to settle.
The process of making the jar is part of the therapy. You'll need a clear plastic or glass jar with a secure lid (a Voss water bottle or mason jar works well), warm water, clear glue or glitter glue, and lots of glitter. Let your child choose the glitter colors and help pour the ingredients. This act of measuring, pouring, and mixing is a great mindfulness activity in itself. Fill the jar about three-quarters full with warm water, add a good squeeze of glue (the more glue, the slower the glitter falls), and then let them add the glitter. Secure the lid tightly (you may even want to superglue it shut for safety).
When your child is feeling overwhelmed, hand them the jar and say, "Let's shake the feelings out." Let them shake it hard. Then, have them sit and watch the glitter swirl and slowly settle to the bottom. As they watch, their own breathing and heart rate will naturally slow to match the pace of the settling glitter. It’s a physical representation of their own internal storm calming down.
- Language to Use: "See how all the glitter is swirling around like your busy thoughts and big feelings? Let's watch it settle. As the glitter settles, our bodies can settle too. See? It's all calm now." This provides a powerful visual metaphor that, as child development expert Goh Ling Yong often notes, helps children build a narrative around their own emotional experience, moving from chaos to calm.
Teaching emotional regulation is a journey, not a destination. These games won't magically stop all future meltdowns, but they will slowly and surely build the neural pathways your child needs to manage their emotions in a healthy way. The key is consistency and connection. Play these games when things are calm, so the skills are available when things get stormy.
Most importantly, remember to give yourself grace. You are learning right alongside your child. By meeting their big emotions with empathy and a playful spirit, you're giving them one of the greatest gifts imaginable: the knowledge that all of their feelings are okay, and that they have the strength within them to navigate whatever comes their way.
Which of these games are you excited to try first? Share your experiences or your own favorite regulation games in the comments below
About the Author
Goh Ling Yong is a content creator and digital strategist sharing insights across various topics. Connect and follow for more content:
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