Top 11 'Self-Sabotage-Stopping' Mental Health Practices to follow for Breaking the Yo-Yo Dieting Cycle - Goh Ling Yong
You’ve been there before, haven't you? The surge of motivation, the meticulously planned meals, the first few kilos melting away. You feel invincible. This time, you think, this time will be different. But then, a stressful day at work, a celebratory dinner, or just a moment of weakness derails you. The guilt sets in, the "all-or-nothing" thinking kicks in, and before you know it, you're right back where you started, feeling more defeated than ever.
This is the exhausting, soul-crushing cycle of yo-yo dieting. It’s a rollercoaster of restriction and release, of hope and failure. Many people believe this cycle is a matter of willpower, a personal failing. But I’m here to tell you that’s not the whole story. More often than not, the real culprit is self-sabotage—a complex web of subconscious beliefs, emotional triggers, and ingrained habits that undermine our best intentions.
Breaking free isn't about finding the "perfect" diet or a magical new workout. It's about shifting your focus inward. It's about healing your relationship with food, your body, and yourself. To truly end the cycle, we need to stop treating the symptoms (the weight) and start addressing the root cause: our mindset. Here are 11 powerful mental health practices designed to help you stop the self-sabotage and finally find peace and sustainability on your health journey.
1. Practice Mindful Eating, Not Mindless Restriction
Mindful eating is the antidote to the frantic, guilt-ridden consumption that often accompanies dieting. It’s not about what you eat, but how you eat. It involves bringing your full, non-judgmental attention to the experience of eating—the tastes, textures, and smells of your food, as well as your body’s internal hunger and fullness cues. When you eat mindfully, you replace anxiety and rules with awareness and respect for your body.
Self-sabotage thrives in mindless moments. You grab a cookie while distracted, and then another, and suddenly the whole box is gone without you even tasting it. Mindful eating breaks this pattern. It creates a pause between the impulse and the action, giving you the power to make a conscious choice. It teaches you to differentiate between true physical hunger and emotional cravings, which is a cornerstone of breaking the yo-yo cycle.
- Actionable Tip: Try the "one-bite meditation." For the very first bite of your next meal, put down your fork, close your eyes, and focus solely on the experience. Notice the temperature, the texture on your tongue, the complex flavors. Doing this for just one bite can anchor you in the present moment and set the tone for the rest of your meal.
2. Identify and Label Your Emotional Triggers
Emotional eating is a powerful form of self-sabotage. We use food not for nourishment, but to soothe, distract, or numb ourselves from uncomfortable feelings like stress, boredom, loneliness, or sadness. The first step to dismantling this habit is to become an emotional detective. You can't change a pattern you don't understand.
Start by paying close attention to when you feel the urge to eat when you aren't physically hungry. What just happened? What were you thinking or feeling right before that craving hit? Simply noticing and naming the emotion—"I'm feeling stressed," or "I'm feeling lonely"—can be incredibly powerful. It separates the feeling from the food, creating a space where you can choose a different response.
- Actionable Tip: For one week, keep a simple "Food and Mood" journal. Don’t track calories. Instead, before you eat, quickly jot down how you’re feeling on a scale of 1-10 (1 being very negative, 10 being very positive) and name the primary emotion. You'll quickly see patterns emerge, revealing your specific triggers.
3. Ditch the "All-or-Nothing" Mindset
The "all-or-nothing" or "black-and-white" mindset is the fuel that keeps the yo-yo dieting engine running. It's the voice that says, "I ate a piece of cake, so my entire day is ruined. I might as well eat the whole thing." This perfectionistic thinking sets you up for failure because life is never perfect. One unplanned meal or a missed workout does not erase all your progress.
This mindset is a classic form of self-sabotage because it gives you an excuse to give up. Instead of seeing a small deviation as just that—a small deviation—it becomes a catastrophic failure. The key is to embrace the grey area. Health is not a switch that is either on or off; it's a spectrum. Your goal is consistency, not flawless perfection.
- Actionable Tip: Implement the "Never Miss Twice" rule. Did you miss a workout today? That's fine. Your only job is to not miss tomorrow's. Did you overindulge at lunch? Focus on making your next meal a nourishing one. This rule allows for human error while preventing one slip-up from turning into a downward spiral.
4. Cultivate Self-Compassion Over Self-Criticism
How do you talk to yourself when you "mess up" on your diet? If your internal monologue is filled with harsh criticism ("You're so weak," "You have no self-control"), you're engaging in self-sabotage. Research shows that self-criticism doesn't motivate; it deflates. It leads to feelings of shame and hopelessness, which often drives us right back to the comforting arms of emotional eating.
Self-compassion, on the other hand, is about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend who is struggling. It's acknowledging that you're human, that this journey is difficult, and that setbacks are a normal part of the process. It's about learning from mistakes without drowning in shame.
- Actionable Tip: When you catch your inner critic flaring up, consciously practice a self-compassion phrase. Put a hand over your heart and say something like, "This is a moment of suffering. It's okay to struggle. May I be kind to myself." It might feel silly at first, but it can rewire your brain's default response to setbacks.
5. Set Process-Based Goals, Not Just Outcome-Based Goals
An outcome-based goal is "Lose 10 kilos." The problem is, you don't have direct control over that number on any given day. Your weight fluctuates due to water, hormones, and countless other factors. Focusing solely on the outcome can be incredibly demotivating and leads to obsessive, self-sabotaging behaviours when the scale doesn't cooperate.
A process-based goal, however, focuses on the actions and habits you can control. Examples include: "Move my body for 30 minutes, 4 times a week," "Include a source of protein at every meal," or "Get 7-8 hours of sleep per night." These goals build momentum and self-efficacy because you can succeed at them every single day, regardless of what the scale says. Success breeds more success.
- Actionable Tip: Take your big outcome goal and break it down into 2-3 weekly process goals. Instead of "lose weight," your goals for this week could be "1. Go for a walk after dinner on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 2. Pack a healthy lunch for work every day. 3. Drink a glass of water before each meal."
6. Develop a "Non-Food" Coping Toolkit
If you're using food to cope with emotions, simply trying to "stop" won't work unless you have a replacement. Your brain needs an alternative way to get that comfort or distraction. This is where a "non-food coping toolkit" comes in. It's a pre-planned list of activities you can turn to when an emotional trigger strikes.
The key is to have this list ready before you need it. In the heat of a stressful moment, your brain will default to its easiest, most familiar coping mechanism (often, food). By having a tangible list of alternatives, you make it easier to choose a more constructive behaviour.
- Actionable Tip: Brainstorm a list of at least 10 simple, accessible activities that help you feel better. Categorize them by the need they meet. For stress relief: 5 minutes of deep breathing, listening to a calming song. For boredom: read a chapter of a book, work on a puzzle. For connection: call a friend, play with a pet. Put this list on your fridge or as your phone's lock screen.
7. Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs About Food and Your Body
Many of us carry around a host of limiting beliefs we’ve absorbed from diet culture, family, and society. Beliefs like "Carbs make you fat," "I have to earn my food through exercise," "I'll only be happy when I'm thin," or "My body is broken." These beliefs are the sneaky puppet masters of self-sabotage, dictating our choices and ensuring we stay stuck.
You must become aware of these beliefs and actively challenge them. When a thought like "I can't have bread" pops up, ask yourself: Is this 100% true? Where did I learn this? What is a more balanced, less rigid perspective? Replacing these rigid rules with flexible, evidence-based thinking frees you from the prison of food guilt.
- Actionable Tip: Use the "Courtroom Technique." When a limiting belief comes up, put it on trial. What is the evidence for this belief? What is the evidence against it? What would a compassionate, neutral jury decide? This helps you see the belief for what it is—a thought, not an unchangeable fact.
8. Focus on Non-Scale Victories (NSVs)
Fixating on the scale is one of the fastest ways to sabotage your journey. The number can be fickle and often doesn't reflect the real progress you're making in your health. Non-scale victories are all the other amazing benefits that come from taking care of your body.
Celebrating these NSVs is crucial for long-term motivation. They reinforce the idea that your efforts are paying off in meaningful ways, even if the scale is being stubborn. This builds a positive feedback loop based on how you feel and function, not just how much you weigh. My clients, as guided by the principles I share at Goh Ling Yong, often find this shift to be the most liberating part of their journey.
- Actionable Tip: Keep a running list of NSVs in a journal or on your phone. Did you sleep through the night? Have more energy to play with your kids? Notice your clothes fitting a little looser? Lift a heavier weight at the gym? Write it down! When you feel discouraged, read through your list to remind yourself of how far you've come.
9. Practice Gratitude for Your Body's Function, Not Its Form
For many caught in the yo-yo cycle, the relationship with their body is adversarial. We see it as an enemy to be controlled, punished, and fixed. This constant criticism is a breeding ground for self-sabotage. Why would you want to nourish and care for something you despise?
To heal this, start shifting your focus from what your body looks like to what it does for you. Your body is a remarkable vessel that carries you through life every single day. It allows you to hug loved ones, see beautiful sunsets, taste delicious food, and experience the world. Practicing gratitude for these functions can slowly transform your body image from one of shame to one of appreciation.
- Actionable Tip: Each day, identify three things your body did for you that you're grateful for. It could be as simple as "My lungs allowed me to breathe deeply," "My legs carried me up the stairs," or "My immune system is fighting off a cold." This practice nurtures a more respectful and cooperative relationship with your body.
10. Build a Supportive Environment
Your environment—both physical and social—plays a massive role in your success. If your kitchen is stocked with hyper-palatable trigger foods and your social media feed is filled with "fitspiration" that makes you feel inadequate, you're setting yourself up for a struggle. Self-sabotage becomes easier when temptation and negative comparisons are constantly in your face.
Curate your environment to support your goals. This isn't about creating a sterile, joyless bubble; it's about making the healthy choice the easy choice. It also means surrounding yourself with people who lift you up and understand your journey, rather than those who might subtly undermine your efforts or trigger your insecurities.
- Actionable Tip: Do a "support audit."
- Physical: Make healthy foods visible and accessible on your counter or at the front of your fridge. Move trigger foods to a less convenient location or don't buy them for a while.
- Social: Unfollow social media accounts that promote extreme diets or make you feel bad. Have a conversation with a friend or family member about how they can best support you.
11. Seek Professional Guidance When Needed
Sometimes, the patterns of self-sabotage are so deeply ingrained that trying to untangle them on your own feels like an impossible task. There is immense strength, not weakness, in asking for help. A qualified professional—like a therapist specializing in eating behaviours, a registered dietitian, or a certified coach—can provide you with personalized tools, strategies, and accountability.
A professional can offer an objective perspective, helping you identify blind spots and challenge core beliefs you might not even know you have. They can help you create a sustainable plan that honors your unique body and lifestyle, moving you away from the one-size-fits-all diet mentality that fuels the yo-yo cycle.
- Actionable Tip: If you've been stuck in this cycle for years and these practices feel overwhelming, consider it a sign that it's time to invest in expert support. Research professionals in your area or online who align with a non-diet, compassionate, and mindset-focused approach to health.
Your Journey to Food Freedom Starts Now
Breaking free from the yo-yo dieting cycle is not a quick fix; it's a profound journey of self-discovery and healing. It requires patience, practice, and above all, a tremendous amount of self-compassion. The relentless pursuit of weight loss at the expense of your mental health is the very definition of self-sabotage. The real goal is to build a life where you nourish your body with respect, move it with joy, and speak to yourself with kindness.
Don't feel like you have to master all 11 of these practices at once. That would be falling right back into the "all-or-nothing" trap! Instead, choose just one that resonates with you the most. Perhaps it's practicing mindful eating for one meal a day, or starting a non-scale victory journal. Small, consistent steps are what create lasting change.
You have the power to stop the cycle. You have the ability to rewrite your story. It begins with the choice to stop fighting your body and start working with it.
Ready to get off the rollercoaster for good? If you're looking for personalized guidance to dismantle these self-sabotaging patterns, let's connect. Book a discovery call with me, Goh Ling Yong, and we can explore how to build a sustainable, compassionate approach to health that finally sets you free. What was your biggest 'aha' moment from this list? Share it in the comments below!
About the Author
Goh Ling Yong is a content creator and digital strategist sharing insights across various topics. Connect and follow for more content:
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