Top 8 'Inner-Refuge-Crafting' Mental Health Practices to follow at home for When Your Living Room Feels Like the Office - Goh Ling Yong
The soft click of your laptop closing is supposed to be a finish line. It’s the sound of freedom, the signal that your workday is over and your personal time has begun. Yet, as you look around, you’re still sitting at the dining table where you took that stressful video call. The corner of your sofa is still piled with work papers. Your living room, once a sanctuary for relaxation, now feels like a satellite office you can never quite leave.
This is the silent struggle of the modern remote worker. The lines between work and life haven't just blurred; they’ve dissolved into a murky, ever-present haze of notifications, lingering stress, and the feeling that you’re always on the clock. While the flexibility of working from home is a gift, it comes with a hidden cost to our mental health if we don't actively protect our personal space—both physically and mentally. The key isn't to find a perfect, unattainable "balance," but to learn the art of crafting an inner refuge.
Crafting an inner refuge is about building intentional boundaries and rituals that signal to your brain, "Work is done. You are safe. You are home." It’s a conscious practice of reclaiming your time, energy, and peace of mind. Here on the Goh Ling Yong blog, we believe in practical, powerful strategies you can implement today. Let’s explore eight of these 'inner-refuge-crafting' practices to help you transform your home back into a haven.
1. Master the Art of the "Fake Commute"
Before the work-from-home era, the daily commute served a crucial psychological purpose. It was a transitional period—a buffer zone that allowed our brains to decompress from work mode and shift into home mode. Driving, walking, or taking the train provided a physical and mental separation. When your office is just ten steps from your bed, that essential buffer vanishes, leaving you to mentally catapult from "employee" to "parent" or "partner" in seconds.
Recreating this transition is one of the most effective ways to reclaim your evenings. A "fake commute" is a non-negotiable ritual you perform immediately before starting your workday and right after you finish. This isn't about adding another task to your list; it's about carving out 15-20 minutes of dedicated time to signal a mental shift. This simple act tells your nervous system that a change is occurring, allowing you to consciously leave work stresses behind.
How to do it:
- Morning "Commute": Before you even open your laptop, leave your house. Take a brisk 15-minute walk around the block, listening to a specific "workday startup" podcast or playlist. The fresh air and movement will wake up your body and prime your brain for focus.
- Evening "Commute": The moment you shut your laptop, change your shoes and go for another walk, but this time, listen to relaxing music or simply pay attention to your surroundings. Alternatively, you could do a short yoga flow, spend 10 minutes journaling about your day, or even just sit on your porch with a cup of tea, phone left inside. The key is that the activity is consistent and marks a clear end.
2. Practice Sensory Zoning to Reclaim Your Space
Our brains are powerful association machines, and they link our senses—smell, sound, and sight—to specific states of mind. If your living room smells like coffee and stress all day and all night, it will be incredibly difficult to relax there in the evening. Sensory zoning is the practice of intentionally changing the sensory environment of your space to match the desired activity, effectively creating different "zones" in the same room.
Think of it as stage design for your life. During work hours, you create a sensory environment that promotes focus and energy. When the workday is over, you completely change the "set" to one that encourages rest and connection. This sends clear, subconscious cues to your brain that the context has changed, making it far easier to switch off and be present in your personal life.
How to do it:
- Scent: Use an essential oil diffuser. During work hours, opt for energizing scents like peppermint, lemon, or rosemary. Once you clock out, switch to calming scents like lavender, chamomile, or sandalwood.
- Sound: Create distinct work and home playlists. Your work playlist might be instrumental focus music or ambient sounds. Your evening playlist could be jazz, classical, or your favorite chill-out tracks. The absolute rule? Never play the work playlist after hours.
- Lighting: Use light to your advantage. During the workday, keep your space brightly lit with cool-toned, natural light to promote alertness. In the evening, dim the lights and switch to warm-toned lamps to signal to your body that it's time to wind down.
3. Implement a "Hard Stop" Shutdown Routine
The siren song of "just one more email" is the nemesis of work-life separation. Without the physical act of leaving an office, the workday can bleed endlessly into the evening. A "hard stop" shutdown routine is a brief but deliberate series of actions you perform at the end of each day to create a definitive, psychological closure. It's the mental equivalent of locking the office door behind you.
This isn’t just about closing your laptop. It’s a ritual that brings finality to your professional obligations for the day. It combats decision fatigue by making the end of your day non-negotiable. By externalizing the end of your workday through physical actions, you give your brain concrete proof that it’s time to disengage. Over time, your mind will learn to anticipate this routine and begin winding down automatically.
How to do it:
- Tidy Your Workspace: Spend the last five minutes of your day clearing your desk. Organize papers, wipe down the surface, and put away your pens. A clean space for the morning reduces tomorrow's friction.
- Plan for Tomorrow: Quickly review your calendar for the next day and jot down your top 1-3 priorities. This "brain dump" prevents you from mentally cycling through your to-do list all evening.
- The Digital Shutdown: Close every single work-related tab, application, and file. Don't just minimize them. Log out of your email and work-messaging apps.
- The Physical Put-Away: If possible, put your work laptop completely out of sight. Place it in a drawer, a bag, or on a shelf in another room. Out of sight truly helps it stay out of mind.
- Verbalize It: As a final step, say a phrase out loud, like, "My workday is now complete." It might feel silly at first, but this auditory cue reinforces the boundary you've just created.
4. Embrace Mindful Micro-Breaks, Not Just Screen Breaks
We all know we should take breaks, but what do we usually do? We switch from our work screen to our phone screen, scrolling through social media or news headlines. While this provides a change of scenery, it doesn't actually give our brains the restorative rest they need. A mindful micro-break is about intentionally disengaging from all forms of information intake and reconnecting with yourself and your immediate environment.
These aren't long, time-consuming breaks. We're talking about 3-5 minutes sprinkled throughout your day. The goal is to interrupt the cycle of cognitive load and stress, allowing your prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain responsible for focus and decision-making—to have a mini-reboot. Regular, mindful disengagement leads to better focus, reduced stress, and less end-of-day burnout.
How to do it:
- The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: Wherever you are, pause and silently name: 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel (the chair beneath you, the fabric of your clothes), 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
- Mindful Hydration: Get a glass of water. Instead of gulping it down, take a moment. Notice the temperature of the glass, the feeling of the water in your mouth, and the sensation of it going down your throat.
- A "Sensation" Walk: Step into another room or outside for just two minutes. Focus entirely on the physical sensation of walking—the way your feet hit the floor, the movement of your arms, the air on your skin.
5. Enforce Digital Boundaries with a Purposeful Declutter
Your digital environment is your new office building. If you have work notifications popping up on your personal phone at 9 PM, it’s the equivalent of your boss walking into your living room to ask you a question. Setting firm digital boundaries is non-negotiable for creating an inner refuge. This goes beyond simply muting notifications; it’s about architecting your digital life to support your well-being.
The goal is to create friction for your work-self to intrude on your personal-self, and vice versa. By separating your digital tools and spaces, you reduce the likelihood of accidentally stumbling into a work email when you meant to look up a recipe. This is about being the master of your technology, not its servant.
How to do it:
- Separate Your Browsers: Use one web browser (like Chrome) exclusively for work and another (like Firefox or Safari) for all personal activity. Don't save personal logins on your work browser, and vice versa.
- Curate Your Notifications: Go through your phone and ruthlessly turn off all non-essential notifications. For work apps like Slack or Teams, set a strict schedule (e.g., 9 AM to 6 PM) where they are allowed to notify you. Outside of those hours, they should be silent.
- Home Screen Feng Shui: Move all work-related apps off your phone's main home screen and into a folder on the second or third page. This small bit of friction prevents mindless, habitual checking.
- Schedule "Tech-Free" Time: Designate a period every evening—even if it's just for 30 minutes—where all screens are put away. Read a book, talk with your family, or listen to music.
6. Intentionally Schedule "Do-Nothing" Time
In our productivity-obsessed culture, empty space in our calendar can feel like a personal failing. We pack our evenings and weekends with chores, social events, and self-improvement projects. This leaves no room for what our brains desperately need: unstructured, goal-free downtime. Intentionally scheduling "do-nothing" time is a radical act of self-care.
This isn't about being lazy; it’s about allowing for mental restoration. When we're not actively focused on a task, our brain’s "default mode network" kicks in, which is crucial for creativity, self-reflection, and problem-solving. By blocking out time on your calendar for nothing in particular, you give yourself permission to simply be without the guilt of feeling unproductive.
How to do it:
- Block it in Your Calendar: Literally schedule a 30-minute appointment with yourself called "Rest" or "Unstructured Time." Treat it with the same importance as a work meeting.
- Create a "Being" List: Make a list of activities that have no goal other than enjoyment. This might include: lying on the floor listening to an album, watching the clouds, sitting by a window with a cup of tea, or gently stretching without a specific routine.
- Embrace the Boredom: When you first start, you might feel antsy or bored. That's normal. Resist the urge to grab your phone. Sit with the feeling. This is where the magic of mental decompression happens.
7. Engage in a "Haptic Hobby" to Ground Yourself
So much of modern work is abstract and digital. We move pixels, type words, and analyze data on screens. This can leave us feeling disconnected and disembodied. A "haptic hobby"—one that heavily involves your sense of touch—is a powerful antidote. It pulls you out of your head and grounds you firmly in your body and the physical world.
Engaging your hands in a tangible, creative process is deeply meditative. It requires a different kind of focus than knowledge work, quieting the analytical part of your brain and activating creative, intuitive pathways. The satisfaction of creating something real and tangible with your own hands provides a sense of accomplishment that a finished spreadsheet rarely can. As an expert in fostering holistic well-being, Goh Ling Yong often emphasizes the importance of activities that integrate mind and body.
How to do it:
- Explore Different Textures: Try hobbies like pottery, knitting, woodworking, or bread-making.
- Connect with Nature: Gardening is a fantastic haptic hobby. The feeling of soil in your hands is incredibly grounding. Even repotting a few houseplants can have a calming effect.
- Focus on the Process, Not the Product: Don't worry about being "good" at it. The goal isn't to create a masterpiece; it's to enjoy the physical sensations of the activity—the feel of the dough, the smoothness of the wood, the texture of the yarn.
8. End Your Day with the "Three Good Things" Ritual
After a long day of work, it's easy for our minds to fixate on what went wrong: the annoying email, the project that's behind schedule, the meeting that didn't go well. This negativity bias can color our entire evening, making it difficult to relax. The "Three Good Things" exercise is a simple yet profound positive psychology practice that retrains your brain to scan for the good.
By consciously recalling three positive moments from your day and reflecting on your role in them, you shift your focus from stress to gratitude. This practice doesn't ignore the challenges of the day, but it prevents them from being the only thing you remember. Doing this consistently can improve your mood, enhance your resilience, and help you disconnect from work stress before you go to sleep.
How to do it:
- Find a Quiet Moment: Just before bed, take a few minutes to reflect on your day. You can write this down in a journal or simply think it through in your mind.
- Identify Three Specific Things: Think of three things that went well, no matter how small. For example: "I had a really productive hour of deep work this morning." "My teammate thanked me for my help on a report." "I really enjoyed the sun on my face during my afternoon walk."
- Reflect on Your Role: For each good thing, briefly consider what you did to make it happen. "I turned off my notifications to focus." "I took the time to explain the process clearly." "I made the choice to step away from my desk for a break." This step helps build a sense of agency and self-efficacy.
Your Home Should Feel Like Home
Crafting an inner refuge isn't about a single grand gesture; it's about the small, consistent, and intentional choices you make every single day. Your home should be the one place on earth where you can let your guard down, recharge, and be fully yourself. When your living room feels like the office, you lose that vital sanctuary.
Start small. You don't need to implement all eight of these practices at once. Pick one that resonates with you the most—perhaps starting a "fake commute" or implementing a shutdown ritual—and commit to trying it for a week. Notice how it feels. These practices are tools in your mental health toolkit, ready to help you build sturdier walls between your work life and your personal peace.
Now we’d love to hear from you. Which of these 'inner-refuge-crafting' practices are you excited to try? Do you have your own tried-and-true methods for switching off after a day of working from home? Share your thoughts and tips in the comments below!
About the Author
Goh Ling Yong is a content creator and digital strategist sharing insights across various topics. Connect and follow for more content:
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